REFIT LoveRules Challenge Day 19

We're not talking about the dating scene or your future spouse...we're talking about you.  

LOVE RULES CHALLENGE

DAY 19:

KNOW YOUR

PERSONALITY TYPE. 

This #LoveRules may seem a little out of the box, but knowing your personality type is an important tool in loving others.  Why?

For starters, being self-aware will help you interact with other people.  When a "thinker" and a "feeler" interact, things can be really swell or really BAD. 

Identifying your personality and anticipating how it intersects with others is a great offensive tactic -- especially in potential conflict.

Some of our favorite personality assessments are: Myers-Briggs personality assessment (There's a general version that's free online) and Strengths Finder by Tom Rath. There are many more, but start with these two and dig into yourself a little so you can learn how to love deeper.

If you've taken either of these tests, what were your findings? 

REFIT LoveRules Challenge Day 17

LOVE RULES CHALLENGE

DAY 17: 

IT'S OKAY

TO DISAGREE

Life often has it’s share of disagreements and conflicts, so let’s talk about how to handle conflict and how conflict is actually a great way to love others.  

Watch the video below and don’t forget to answer the discussion questions! - 

Discussion Questions:

1.  What part of this video resonated with you and why?

2.  How do you typically respond to conflict and what, if anything, would you like to change about your response?

3.  How was conflict modeled in your family growing up and how is it handled in your current life?

See more at: http://refitrev.com/uncategorized/love-rules-its-okay-to-disagree/#sthash.JaEVUYxi.dpuf -AND- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irxzWNGcmL0

REFIT LoveRules Challenge Day 11

LOVE RULES CHALLENGE DAY #11: VALUE THE OFFERING. 

Even if it's not much.

Even if it's not needed.

Even if it's not enough.

Even if it doesn't make sense.

Even if it doesn't meet your expectations.

Even if you don't want it.

People show love in different ways, and what they bring is often all they have to give. And it's not just monetary. Maybe it's the insecure friend who over-compliments.  Maybe it's the over-helper who really just gets in the way. Maybe it's the client who has an opinion about everything.

At the root of their behavior is the desire to love and give. And sometimes it's awkward. 💁 Today.  Value the offering...as messy as it is. You'll be changed by it. 

FOLLOW~SHARE~TAG @refitrev + #LoveRules for more great posts!

REFIT LoveRules Challenge Day 8

“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: What! You too? I thought that I was the only one." 
--C. S. Lewis


LOVE CHALLENGE #8: 
CONNECT PEOPLE!

#Connection is powerful. It has the potential to demolish loneliness & create intimacy. For today's ‪#‎LoveRules‬, we want to challenge you guys to connect people to each other. If you see someone struggling with fear of________, hopelessness in a situation or drowning in the pool of mommy guilt...connect them with someone a little further along in the journey.

Connect people with similar interests, journeys, and stories. Comfort is the fruit of connection. People want to know that they are not the only ones out dealing with that particular issue or struggling with that exact form of fear.

Look for ways you can connect people to each other and be a catalyst for change!

LADIES, WANNA CONNECT? Maybe we can find our "Me, too!" moment! 

REFIT LoveRules Challenge Day 7

LOVE CHALLENGE #6: 
BE VULNERABLE. 
NOT VOMIT. 


Why is this part of ‪#‎LoveRules‬? Because even the best things need some guardrails.

Being vulnerable in itself is good and necessary, but sometimes we need to think about HOW to be vulnerable in order to share what we need to share while blessing the people around us. 

A huge factor is the size of the group. If you're surrounded by a large group of people, it's best to keep what you're saying CLEAR and concise, because other people probably want to share and participate, too.

Another thing to note is that your community WANTS to be with you and really understand what's going on, but if you share your entire life's woes in front of the whole group, you're not leaving people room to ask questions and continue the conversation in a way that's helpful to you.

The best thing you can do is to process what you feel with God, your best friend, mom, etc. before sharing with anyone else. When we process with a close one first, we're then free to share just for the joy of being supported and known by #community! The best part about all of this is that you won't regret your vulnerability, and you have a whole family of ‪#‎revolutionaries‬ ready to rally around you! Give it a try!

SHARE this post on social media (instagram, twitter, facebook, pinterest, etc.) adding @refitrev + #LoveRules and you could get love-bombed!

REFIT LoveRules Challenge Day 5

This might be the most obvious #LoveRules in our series, but it's worth mentioning.

LOVE RULE #4: COMMUNICATE

If we're being honest, many people are flat out bad at communicating. When lines of communication are broken, you know what else is broken? Relationships.

Relationships are crucial to community, which means communication -- healthy communication -- must happen. A whole series on this topic alone, so we'll offer this very broad umbrella statement about communication: SEEK TO UNDERSTAND.

Talk things through? Great. Defend your position? Great. Agree to disagree? Great. But more than any of these things -- seek to understand. Understanding is how #LoveRules a community.

Whatcha think?

Feel free to FOLLOW @refitrev (on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and, now, Periscope) & REPOST/SHARE using #loverules! You could win a Love Bomb valued at $100!

Smiling at 50: People Matter More

The Coffee Marathon
Pa Bunk's route - 5.8 miles

Did your plans for this past week play out the way you intended? Mine did not go like I thought it would. It does not matter I mapped out a running and workout schedule. The plan did not get executed. I could have gotten all bent out of shape and demanded my way, but that's not the way I wanted to do things.

Instead, other events overrode my plans and took me on another journey where people matter more than the miles and points logged. Should I be so bold to call these event "divine encounters?" YES!

When I would have been pounding the pavement, concentrating on breathing and sweating it out...

• I connected with old friends doing the daily business of speaking life into their congregations.
• I met a group of pastors, pastor wives, students and church people who heard our story of Calcutta. As a result 25,000+ people in Calcutta will receive food for, at least, one day!
• I engaged in prayer with other friends who need miracles.
• I dreamed with a dear friend those big dreams that are way too big for just her or for just me and know it will take God to bring these dreams to fruition.
• I was introduced to a woman who had it in her hands to creatively be obedient to how she felt God say to bless people in Calcutta. I never would have seen this one coming!
• I considered my hubby before myself and he turned right around and supported me.

Paul wrote the Believers in Philippians, "Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." But, then, he took it even farther by adding, "You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." (Philippians 2:3-5)

I may be able to just barely tolerate my schedule being changed and fake a smile through gritted teeth when considering others, but the Lord knows my heart. He requires me to genuinely be concerned with other's lives and considering them with His love. 

Funny thing, the Lord somehow manages to turn it all around and gave me back some time and energy to get some 10K training accomplished!


Completing Training Week 4, I increased my mileage and worked on speed. There are 60 days until the 10K!

Riding with the Enemy

Needing a new and healthy looking Boston Fern for a showy, green, centerpiece in a large room, I stopped by a local roadside plant and veggie stand where they have the biggest and prettiest of everything, every year! They didn't let me down even at the end of the season. 

My helper directed me to an area out to the side where the leftover summer greenery was cramped in a tangled jumble. Together, we selected a beauty for which he cut me a steal of a deal and loaded into the backseat of my (fake) SUV. Off I went!

After the event, the fern was loaded back into the seat. With the weather mild, there was no threat of the plant dying as the car sat for a couple of days with the windows cracked, until I could unload. 

Who knows if either the fern or the storage box was the transport? It was just a short time afterwards when I noticed the web around the latch of the fold-down seat in the cargo area. I swept it down. It returned. I used a high-power vaccum to hopefully extract the little arachnid. Again, the web returned. Something in the back of my mind kept saying, " This web is different." Nevermind. It's one of those little ones. I've got road trips to make and more stuff to haul. Ugh. Spray the hole. Air the car. Go on.

Isn't that just like life? The evidence of a nuisance is there. I may temporarily rid myself of what's on the surface, but the fact remains there is trouble inside. It'll only get bigger if not dealt with. 

Past emotional wounds left to fester.

Offenses swallowed down, repeatedly.

Broken relationships. Unresolved conflict.

Bitterness. Hate. Jealousy. Insecurity. 

Eating Disorders. Fear. Anger. Depression.

Just to name a few.

We lifted the hatch. There she was clinging to life in that strong, sticky web, but still dangerous. Her colors revealed she was a fully grown, mature Black Widow still capable of inflicting pain and suffering. Now's the time to deal with the issue! How could I not?

It is unnerving to know she had been there all along. How did she manage to survive all that time? She could have hurt me. She could have hurt friends and family. All because I refused to take the time to explore what truly was the problem.

Are patterns in your own life repeated? Do you chide yourself for letting it happen, again?
Now's the time to deal with the issue! How could you not?