You're Not Obsolete

Whether you have...

• relocated to a new city or country
• chosen mommy life, currently
• dropped into an unfamiliar demographic
• been overlooked or side-stepped
• found a wrinkle or silver strand
• felt unqualified or disqualified
• blossomed late

Real or imagined, we all may feel a little lost. 

Recently, I felt lost and un-chosen. Rejected. I reached out to a dear friend. For several years she and I have held one another accountable randomly asking the other to spill it! On this occasion I let her know I needed to be transparent so I could move pass the disappointment weighing heavily on my heart. True to her nature, she surveyed the territory, unpacked the equipment and skillfully mined for gold. Her nuggets of wisdom spoke life into my dejected spirit.

There is still a place for your giftings and talents! Rediscovering your passions or reinventing yourself takes you into uncharted waters for your personal growth. Breathe. It will take courage. See with new eyes the creative ways to come alive and give encouragement and share your voice, grace and experience with others! Someone needs YOU.

If this has connected with you, summon your courage to share where you are or how you've come through it. Someone needs YOU.

Bold Confidence

I have learned many things from social media, like America's obsession with cat videos and tips from 3,000 of my closest friends on which restaurant will "change your life." I have seen or read absolutely anything - AN-Y-THING - on social media! Sometimes, that any thing cannot be unseen, if ya know what I mean! <brain scrub>

One thing I have noticed is, late at night or the wee early hours of the morning, people use social media to upload to offload. Facebook and Twitter accounts are stamped with an emoji reflecting how the person feels or a photo will be uploaded to Instagram or Snapchat expressing their current emotion with a supporting #hashtag. It seems as if the person posting sees himself/herself as posting anonymously for a momentary emotional release or offload.

Loneliness settles around a heart and offloads: I want love or someone to love me.
Loss reflects: It's been a year. I miss my mom.
Depression reaches out for hope through a keyboard: Is there anyone who cares?
Anxiety silently uploads a scream: I can't do this, anymore!

Then --for the focus of today's blog-- there are those uploaders who have experienced something which has caused them to question themselves. "Do I have what it takes?" "What was I thinking?" It may have been a conversation that shook their confidence. It may have been a thoughtless comment posted on a thread. Whether or not that comment had ill intent, a message was downloaded as inadequacy into the human spirit and, later, uploaded as "Am I good enough?" 

Dear Midnight Offloader, You are valuable. That idea is a great one! "Every good and perfect gift comes down from God." That dream you're working hard to see to fruition is going to come about. Keep shooting for the stars! You will eventually find someone who shares that calling and the burden of it and is willing to bear the weight with you. This creativity is part of God's DNA and is meant to be developed. It will take work. It may take many attempts to strengthen it. Be tenacious. You will encounter naysayers. who seek to suck the life out of your work and walk away. Be courageous. You will experience loss...multiple times over and for unexplainable reasons. Do not lose heart.  Be strong in the Lord. A payoff is coming! Someone needs your idea. Someone needs you to be their confidence! Someone needs YOU.

Personal Desperation

Hubby was out of the country. It was my turn to teach the Bible study group. Praying and prepping led to a study of being spiritually desperate for the Divine. Wrapping up the study were three points when being in personal desperation.

A whisper tugged at me, "Pay attention. You're gonna need this."

STOP trying to manipulate a solution to your problem .

God’s ways and thoughts are higher than my own and my attempts to bring about a solution can often worsen the situation. 

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your way and My thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:9).

Ok, God. Point taken.

PERSIST in crying out to God in prayer.

I’m guilty of wanting to pray, once, and be done because I want God to immediately respond. While instant answers to prayer do happen, I am on God's to-do list as He develops strength and faith in me when answers are delayed and I continually come to Him. 

Taking the reins comes honestly almost innately to me. My mom raised us to be independent, reminding us, "You don't need anyone." I kick into gear. It's not an act of rebellion or being snarky. Consequently, when answers to prayer are delayed, I assume the responsibility and take matters into my own hands. 

To say God is too busy isn't my thought process. However, my actions truly stem from the root of a lack of persistence to trust Him. 

Here I am, still learning this lesson. When answers are delayed, we are spending more time in prayer or even joining in prayer meetings. Join me in letting our problems drive us to the Problem-Solver!

WAIT for God’s solution and breakthrough.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:31)

Once God responds, don’t stop there. Let your heart and soul burn brightest with His desperation to see others come to Him.

And, for the record... I am in the big, fat middle of needing this. Stop. Persist. Wait. Repeat. <sigh>

Does this ring true with you? Say so, below. Someone may need to hear your voice.

REFIT LoveRules Challenge Day 16

When ‪#‎LoveRules‬ your life, your light is used not only to draw people, but to LEAD people.

LOVE RULES CHALLENGE DAY 16: 

LIGHT (Lead) THE WAY.

We believe everyone has a superpower and that superpower can be used to light the way for someone else. Today, we're urging you to identify your superpower and begin using it to help people around you.

Unsure what your superpower is? Ask yourself these questions:

*What am I good at?
*How do I add value to my family, work or committee?
*What comes naturally to me?
*What compliment do I most often receive?
*When do I feel most confident?
*When I feel joy or happiness, what am I usually doing?

Look for overlap or patterns in your answers...that will help you identify your superpower and allow you to light the way out of your natural gifting!

Will you share one of your answers in the comments below? It'd be great to know what "superpowers" are going on out there!

TODAY -- REFIT® is LIVE on the Periscope App! Join in on the "Accept vs Embrace" discussion OR tap the screen OR sit quietly listening!

Book Review: The Jesus-Hearted Woman

The Jesus-Hearted Woman: 
10 Leadership Qualities for
Enduring & Endearing Influence
by Jodi Detrick
Influence Resources, 2013
and in association with The Quadrivium Group

The church-world is full of broken-hearted people. What's worse? The church-world being full of broken-hearted leaders.

A compassionate leader and communicator, Jodi Detrick believes "If you have the heart, you can learn the skill." Although this book's title would suggest it is targeted exclusively for the female leader, not a single man could nor would deny the leadership pattern of Christ is for all from those just starting out to those serving for many years in any position. 

Jodi designed each chapter for the reader-leader to draw from her personal leadership experiences through humor, others' lives and God's Word. Ending with a section of coaching questions, a devotional and lesson for the newbie leader, you'll find golden boulders --not nuggets-- of wisdom to immediately put into action.

Are you open to learn? Are you willing to take on the qualities not typically discussed in secular leadership conferences? Are you prepared for that seedling sown in your heart long ago to germinate?

Ok, then! Order your personal copy or several copies for a group development ---> HERE! or at Amazon.

Learn more about a Jesus-Hearted Woman at JesusHeartedWoman.com and about the author at JodiDetrick.com.

Adding Value

While social media tends to pander our self-regard with everything from mundane to once-in-a-lifetime events, let's consider shifting the focus toward others. I am just as indulgent as the next vegetarian in sharing what was on my all-day menu for #MeatlessMonday.

Hey, Jack, what's wrong with posting innumerable pix of cute puppies and baby elephants? Nothing, I say! Absolutely nothing!

I'm issuing a challenge -of sorts- to all you bloggers, Facebookers, Instagramers, Tweeters, Viners, Tumblr-ites and YouTubertarians to add value to your followers. Make it for a day. Make it for a week. Make it your next big milestone post!

What does that look like?

Welpst...it looks like encouraging with words and photos, "likes," asking questions, offering helpful hints and posting about something that benefits the locals or those with similar interests. Avoid cutting remarks or even responding to negativity with negativity where all of social media can see. 

Remember, emotion and voice inflection do not carry through posts, unless you use "!!!" and ALL CAPS!!!! Typically a person will read a response using their own filter. If I have a cynical disposition, chances are I will read a post viewed through my pessimistic filter. 

People struggle on a daily basis with everyday stuff. Let's, You & I, not subtract from our online friends' esteem. Instead, let's be the bright spot elevating them and adding value to their lives. You don't have to be a know-it-all, simply defer to another.

Whether we have 20 or 200,000 followers, we can add value with our platforms.

Here's to #sharingselfies! Join me?

Humility

-Dwennimmen-
West African Symbol for Humility

The room was dim with the exception of stage lights illuminating a modest chair with a basin of water placed directly in front. The young minister knelt beside the basin. Waiting.

“God, we need a breakthrough. We gotta have You. Use us to be Your hands and may these students see You. Holy Spirit, do Your thing.”

The worship music softly playing in the background helped little to lighten the weight of the atmosphere. Finally, a student slid into the chair and quickly removed his shoes and socks and rolled up his jeans. Wide-eyed he watched as the young minister guided his bare feet into the water and began washing them.

This student had done just about everything he could to cause misery during the young minister’s first year. As if there were no memories of the past, the young minister spoke words loud enough for only the student to hear the prayer. Blessing not cursing. Clearly the student was not prepared for this encounter. After a towel was used to dry his feet, the student rejoined the group and sat with his head in his hands weeping.

Sniffles heard from around the room revealed the tenderness of the moment was not unnoticed. One by one, students and leaders, sat in the chair. That night their pride and resentment and pain were disarmed by the power of humility.

How would one simple act cause such emotion?

Humility is overlooked by the inconsiderate and scorned by the powerful. But, is adored by common man and rewarded by God.  

While Impatience stands with hands on hips tapping her foot, Humility sweetly smiles offering a hand to accomplish the task together. 

With her mouth agape, Demanding is shamed by the very presence of Humility quietly walking through the room. 

When Humility asks the question, “What can I do for you, today,” Stinginess harumphs and crosses her arms in realization she has been exposed. 

As Cruelty and Ignorance point their fingers and hurl insults, Humility drapes her arm around slumped shoulders soothing the wounds with her words. 

All the while Arrogance proudly toasts herself, Humility serves all a cup of refreshment.

An act of the will selflessly seeking to benefit others is the quiet strength Jesus fleshed-out as He served the broken, the spent and the dirty. This powerful substance brings piety to its knees and promotes servants to leadership. It is love in action. A verb. A trait that cannot be faked. Humility is not just a posture, it is the very nature of our Saviour. 

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:5

I Love Mondays!

Yep, that's right! I LOVE MONDAYS! That has not always been the case. In earlier (and much younger) years, I was busy doing ministry and working and building a life full of fun and energy…until Monday morning. 

Monday morning, I hated the alarm clock and people and my job. My attitude was disagreeable. Cross me and you might be reduced to a melted form of skin and hair from my glare. I would keep to my desk under a dark, foul cloud of contempt for the day. If one's life is a reflection of what's going on inside, then I was a terrible representative of a life for Christ on Mondays.

This was actually on a Monday in Northern California
when my hubby caught me taking in the
fragrance of the Sierras on the breeze!

The Holy Spirit gently corrected me about my disdain for the day. It didn't feel gentle. I was convicted. It was as if a hot, arrow tip lanced my heart. I knew I was wrong.

You know the difference between conviction and condemnation. Conviction is from the Holy Spirit whose job is to draw us back to the heart of Jesus. Condemnation comes in the form of thoughts like, "I'll never change. I'm not good enough. I feel like a phoney! Why bother?" Condemnation is one of satan's tools to get us to give up and pull away from our loving, living heavenly Father.

I wrote a note to myself for the following Monday to serve as a reminder not to settle back into the old habit. In time Monday came easier, somehow softer. A new feeling of expectation began to grow as to the possibilities and opportunities that Monday yielded.

“Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do; as though you were working for the Lord instead of people” Colossians 3:23 (NLT).

I choose to serve God with a smile, a ready hand and a pleasant attitude, because it’s all for His glory. I desire favor and opportunities to be deployed on my behalf as align my life to the Word. Don't you?

Book Review: LIFE EQUITY by U. S. Congressman Marsha Blackburn

Life Equity
by Marsha Blackburn
Thomas Nelson, 2008

The life you've led

has prepared you for the life 

you dream of.

When I saw the title, I knew I'd love this book. We are born with innate strengths, talents, preferences. College may be a memory or a longing. As we weave our way through life, we begin to develop skill sets. Never before in time have we seen women move forward in fields of public leadership. Did they start out with that goal in mind?

With the foreword by Amy Grant, this book contains stories of young women starting out and women who worked in a specific field only to go back to school and redirect their lives when many would retire.

Strengths + Passions + Experience = Life Equity

• How do I make a difference?
• Do I have what it takes?
• When the children are out of the nest, what then?
• Do I have dreams, yet, unfulfilled? 
• Why do I undervalue myself?

This is one of those inspirational books which challenges you to take inventory and pursue your passions!

Rep. Marsha Blackburn is the U. S. Congressman for Seventh District of Tennessee. Most recently she was honored with co-chairing the Republican Party's Platform Committee and was our state's only elected speaking at the Republican National Convention in August.

Priorities (Third Priority Part 2)

Welcome back to the second part of Priority 3!

1. God

2. Family

3. Ministry (or Career)

4. Myself

Please know that these points are not just clever ideas borrowed from knowledgeable sages. Oh, no. Each point, often painful, was experienced by me. I offer them to you and trust you’ll avoid the emotional scrapes and bruises, which do eventually heal.

My suggestions with regard to relationships and ministry…

• Develop relationships with all ages in the church. Your ministry will have a broader reach when you are able to bridge those gaps.

• Be cautious of your conduct with the opposite sex.

• Support other departments associated with your church. It all comes back to you and your department/ministry. A mental image of the Olympic symbol comes to my mind. As the five rings interconnect, so should our support with other departments. The business world calls it synergy when the sum of smaller groups is greater than its parts. Translation: Stronger Together!

• No appearance at church or related events suggests that the staff wife doesn’t need the people; is a snob; is unloving; is sick or lazy.

• Don’t use your children as an excuse to get out of something. That’s called a lie. (2 Corinthians 4:2)

• Smile. Always be pleasant and friendly…even to those who have hurt you. Shake hands before service, when possible, and always following service, when possible. Recently God whispered for me to stay put after service on the front row of the church we attend when we're actually in town. I've been amazed at the conversations, prayer requests, encouragement and opportunities which have come toward me as I "stay."

• Don’t keep everything in. Why? You’ll establish and fortify walls of resentment toward anything and anyone to do with ministry. Find a mature believer or mentor – outside of your church – with whom you can confide. A mature outsider will allow you to vent and, in turn, can speak into your life. A mature outsider won’t compromise you or your husband’s ministry position.

• People will press you as a staff wife for information before they will approach your husband. Why? Women are notorious for being “loose lips” and gossipers.

• Keep confidences. Two exceptions: (1) Your husband, and (2) in cases of abuse, this by law must be reported.

Philippians 1:27 is a good word for ministry couples. “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” You’ll look back in a few years in fond remembrance and know these were truly the sweetest days of ministry.

December 2012, will be the final installment of our PRIORITIES blogpost lessons.  If you missed one, go to the Archive and catch up. If you have a question or comment, please message or email me. Most people seem to like the privacy of our conversations and that's totally cool!

~"Sam"