100 Days of Summer 74-80/100

08.19.19. I love a fresh start. I even love Mondays. I know. Weird. On Mondays, there's the opportunity to start anew feeling energized. I love a do-over. Growing up, I played church volleyball. If you had any kind of accurate serve, your team was pretty much assured a win. But, if you missed and the ball went wonky or got caught in the net, you got a do-over! I loved church league volleyball for that little grace!

It's Monday morning. Remember, I love Mondays, but today, feels like it's on the brink of doom, like when there's a major fault in a dam and the little town, below, has been evacuated. I feel like my insides are on alert with a spinning red emergency light to that ear-piercing siren honk-blasting the warning. 

Just like the rings of the famous Olympic symbol, everything about us is interconnected with one part effecting the other parts -- body, mind, heart and soul, inside to outside. If one is weakened, the others will feel the need. 

So, I take a quick inventory.

Am I worried? [the mind] There's plenty to be anxious about. But can I actually change one of them by allowing my mind to brew in a vat of worry? No. If I were to make a list of the Top 10... naw, let's go lesser... Top 3 Worries, I may be able to alleviate them in a practical method, but ultimately God's got my back. He isn't surprised and He works on my behalf so that I can keep moving forward.

How's my soul? [the soul] A soul weakened by neglect or hunger can topple the entire structure of body, mind and heart. But, I've been nourishing my soul with scripture and praise music and prayer, both privately and with others. My soul is full and spiritually strong.

Am I tired? [the body] It's been an engaging weekend with a physically exhausting week prior. Some time back in one of the previous 79 devotions in the Embraced book, Lysa TerKeurst acknowledges her own fatigue overlapping into her emotions: A depleted girl can quickly become a defeated girl when she lets emotions dictate her reactions. 

Am I broken-hearted? [the heart/emotions] Aha. Ouchies. Found it. For me, today, this one tends to sit on the curb slack shouldered and teary. This is the culprit that catches in my throat prompting me to ask Why. This is the reason I want to quit everything and run from the crushing pain isolating my broken heart from anything or anyone who intentionally or unknowingly caused the injury. What do ya know, there was a crack in the dam and my eyes are leaking.

Like that little dark cloud raining above a cartoon character's head everywhere he goes, the sadness will hang around. I can't speed off away from it thinking it'll remain in the dust I just left. Nope. That's stinkin' thinkin'. 

It's time to take sound action to acknowledge the hurt [the mind], to pull back from the busyness into a quiet comfortable place for as much time as I need to let all my parts gather in rest [the body] to let being in God's presence [the soul] begin mending my brokenness [the heart].

I won't let this crushing feeling choke my energy by tangling up my thoughts. I choose to trust God.

It make take awhile. And, in the middle of my heartache it may feel like God's not around. But, I will hang my hope in His peace because His love is constant as the sun and His faithfulness is everlasting. This is what I trust. This is where I will find healing. 

"All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and goodness and truth and faithfulness to those who keep His covenant and His testimony." (Psalm 25:10)
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." (Psalm 34:18)

This is the embrace.

Are the Pistols Loaded?

06.19.19.  In a few posts from the past, I have blogged about fear. Although fear manifests itself in different ways, they can all be traced back to that stubborn root. 

Although the paralyzing type of fear does not typically seize me, my spirit will lock down in an unhealthy pattern, sometimes, when an old insecurity tries to sneak its way into my thoughts. I am learning to flip on the porchlight to expose fear for what it is, an invader. 

If you tend to wrestle with fear (worry, anxiety, etc.), perhaps the following reference from Worry: The Big Scary Shadow may serve you:

1. Relax. Breathe.
2. Refrain from giving-in to this crippling shadow-monster.
3. Recognize you're in a negative thought mode and retrace your steps back to the source by asking, "Where did this start?"
4. Remind yourself of 2 Corinthians 10:5, "Casting down imaginations and every thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and taking captive (arresting, disabling) every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

In the EMBRACED Day 19 Devo, Lysa TerKeurst wrestles with this nemesis by reminding herself of other God-breathed words of strength found in Isaiah 43:1, Romans 8:38-39, 1 Peter 5:7 and, one of my faves, 2 Timothy 1:7.

God gave us a spirit

not of fear but

of power and love and self-control. 

(2 Timothy 1:7 ESV)

Looking up other versions or translations of this scripture for those three gifts (power, love

and self-control), yielded words like bold, strong, loving, sensible, wise, and sound-judgment any of which could be inserted synonymously.

My response to fear or insecurity is action. Not the good action. Without thinking I attempt to control the situation or trust in my own strength. Sidenote, "without thinking" should be a warning to pause and regroup. Oh no, not me. I run forward with pistols that should be blazing, but in my haste, I didn't load the bullets. That's very bold, but not wise and definitely not recommended. 

Trusting myself is just that. Bold, not wise. I'm not intentionally being disobedient, but my startled reaction to fear or insecurity causes me to go rogue. My prayer is to be wise in the gifts He gave, boldness with love and wisdom. Wisdom reminds me to trust God with my weakness, instead of wrestling with Him. 

Are we alike in this? Aren't we all a work in progress?

Bold Confidence

I have learned many things from social media, like America's obsession with cat videos and tips from 3,000 of my closest friends on which restaurant will "change your life." I have seen or read absolutely anything - AN-Y-THING - on social media! Sometimes, that any thing cannot be unseen, if ya know what I mean! <brain scrub>

One thing I have noticed is, late at night or the wee early hours of the morning, people use social media to upload to offload. Facebook and Twitter accounts are stamped with an emoji reflecting how the person feels or a photo will be uploaded to Instagram or Snapchat expressing their current emotion with a supporting #hashtag. It seems as if the person posting sees himself/herself as posting anonymously for a momentary emotional release or offload.

Loneliness settles around a heart and offloads: I want love or someone to love me.
Loss reflects: It's been a year. I miss my mom.
Depression reaches out for hope through a keyboard: Is there anyone who cares?
Anxiety silently uploads a scream: I can't do this, anymore!

Then --for the focus of today's blog-- there are those uploaders who have experienced something which has caused them to question themselves. "Do I have what it takes?" "What was I thinking?" It may have been a conversation that shook their confidence. It may have been a thoughtless comment posted on a thread. Whether or not that comment had ill intent, a message was downloaded as inadequacy into the human spirit and, later, uploaded as "Am I good enough?" 

Dear Midnight Offloader, You are valuable. That idea is a great one! "Every good and perfect gift comes down from God." That dream you're working hard to see to fruition is going to come about. Keep shooting for the stars! You will eventually find someone who shares that calling and the burden of it and is willing to bear the weight with you. This creativity is part of God's DNA and is meant to be developed. It will take work. It may take many attempts to strengthen it. Be tenacious. You will encounter naysayers. who seek to suck the life out of your work and walk away. Be courageous. You will experience loss...multiple times over and for unexplainable reasons. Do not lose heart.  Be strong in the Lord. A payoff is coming! Someone needs your idea. Someone needs you to be their confidence! Someone needs YOU.

Happy #HeartAttackComeback Day!

Terry. 1 month
after heart attack
Glacier Park - MT

December 18th is a new major holiday 

for the Allen Clan!

It's Happy Heart Day!

It's Terry-Survived-a-Heart-Attack Day!

It's #HeartAttackComeback Day!

What?! You didn't hear? On December 18, 2012, my hubby --Terry Allen-- hadn't been feeling great; however, had been keeping that fact from me for about two weeks. That morning when Terry went for a run, he didn't get very far and knew something was seriously wrong. The situation only worsened and by evening, he called me from a parking lot screaming in pain to meet him at the hospital because the ambulance had been called. Our son, Dane, and his then-fiancé, Emily, quickly met us there. 

T was life-flighted to Vanderbilt Hospital where a cardiac team quickly accessed his problem and saved my husband's life. I sat up all night in a dark corner praying, observing the attentive team and listening to the various beeps and breathing of my honey. Being a Believer in God's power for healing, I didn't need to hear comforting words of well-meaning friends, I just wanted to sense the nearness of my Savior, Jesus Christ. And, I did.

Drew & Daney.
Gotta find joy somewhere!

I can recall many details of those next few days. Too many to list. I remember waking in the waiting room to the rustling of a paper bag as our dear friend and pastor, Drew, handed me a cup of hot tea and said, "Wow. You look rough." I remember Aaron "Smiley" Farmer (my summer son) walking around the corner in the waiting room just as my emotions and fatigue collided. He brought my fave hazelnut coffee and bagels. I remember Daney fielding questions on the cellphone and becoming a man in my eyes. I remember driving away from Vandy with T riding shotgun. Kinda hard to drive with your eyes full of tears. I remember waking up early and sitting quietly with "mah mayn" in the glow of the Christmas tree reading our eReader versions of the Bible.

This year, 2013, has been Terry's #HeartAttackComeback year. In celebration of his life and the one year anniversary, I asked (um...really, I told) him when he was finished writing his post on the day before, I wanted to include it on my site, too!

Dane's Recovery Instructions
to Dad
in the Cardiac Care Unit
of Vandy

1 month anniversary
with
Lowell & Tami Hochhalter
Glacier Park - MT

Today I ran and walked 13.1 miles for 14 reasons... (or 13.1 reasons)

Mile 1 - Gratefulness. I am just happy to be alive.

Mile 2 - Fear...For one solid year I have thought about having another heart attack. Every morning it was one of my first thoughts. Every time I took my daily medicine. With every pain has come a whisper of my demise and I am flat sick of it. I will not be controlled by a spirit of fear. Period.

Mile 3 - 12/18 is the heart attack anniversary and I thought it would be great to do it before I go to the doctor tomorrow.

Mile 4 - I set a goal to run a half marathon by the end of 2013, and it was within my grasp. I honestly didn't know if my body could take it, but I refused to give up on the goal and not at

Terry & Drew.
Sunday following heart attack

least try.

Mile 5 - For everyone who struggles with depression. For the darkness that tells you your life is over...Don't believe it.

Mile 6 - For my Hebrews Eleven Life Group (a.k.a LifeNet). I wanted to knock out a hope target for them.

Mile 7 - For my Pastor and best friend, Andrew Wharton, who sat in the car and prayed for me, followed the ambulance, lobbied to get on the life flight and stayed up all night in the hospital with me. ICU will never be the same.

Mile 8 - For every person that has slugged it out this year to change and comeback from addiction, bad health or another life struggle.

Mile 9 - For all my encouraging friends who prayed and took the time to visit, call & care.

T & me.
Our first completed mile
toward the
#HeartAttackComeback

Especially Jim & Bonnie Long, Lowell Hochhalter, Tami Parker Hochhalter, Kent & Kelley Tucker Steven Morgan, Shannon Baugh Morgan, David Morgan, Randy Valimont, Terry Bailey, Glenn Burks, Larry Vine, John & Laura Driver, Roy & Cari Stone, Eduardo & Sandra Rocha, Jonnie & Curry Wethington...and more.

Mile 10 - Because I'm not a quitter.

Mile 11 - Eleven was for my mother and family. My father died in her arms from a heart attack afew years ago and when I had my episode she had to relive those memories. This one was for her peace, happiness and to give another punch in the face to worry for making her cry.

Mile 12 - I ran it for Dane Allen. No kid should have worry about his dad losing his life so early. I ran it to punch worry in the face for making my son uncomfortable. Don't mess with my kid.

T & me.
At Dane & Emily's wedding
September 14, 2013

Mile 13 - I ran it for Samalee Allen and for all of her incredible sacrifice this year in helping me get healthy. Honestly, I also wanted to destroy any fear she may deal with of losing her husband. We are one and I will not stand for fear in the eyes of my wife. 

Mile 13.1 - I ran it because there is "no sweeter name than the name of Jesus. No sweeter name that I've ever known." - Kari Jobe has sung that to me a hundred times this year and I believe it. "You are the light in my heart and my soul. You are the light to the darkness around me." Without Jesus and his help I would not be here. This whole journey is a testament to His grace and mercy. The finish was for Him.

I love you, Terry Allen. 
I love you 'til the day I die.
Together, we can conquer the world in love. 
You and I. 

Happy #HeartAttackComeback Day!

Worry: The Big Scary Shadow?

Do you remember seeing an old cartoon where the cat is after the mouse, when from around the corner a huge, monster mouse seems to be stalking the cat, but it's just the shadow of the little mouse?

_____

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. Swedish Proverb

_____

Worry is just that. It's a big, hairy shadow stalking us. We cower in the corner awaiting the perceived dripping fangs to sink into our flesh and devour us.

Worry is never useful. It is destructive. It handicaps and diminishes us preventing clear thinking. As the mind begins to feed on its own natural reserves, our perspective is skewed or slanted and shadows play tricks on our mind.

The Bible asks this question: Which one of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life or an inch to your height? (Matthew 6:27)

My husband describes these worried imaginations as negative, mental pictures of the possible outcome of a circumstance. These imaginations are simply not real. And, worse yet, they are opposing ideas to God and His Word. There is no faith when worry is permitted to solidify into fear.

What should we do when worry begins to creep in?

1. Relax. Breathe.
2. Refrain from giving in to this crippling shadow-monster.
3. Recognize you're in a negative thought mode and retrace your steps back to the source of the thought asking, "Where did this start?"
4. Remind yourself of 2 Corinthians 10:5: Casting down imaginations and every thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and taking captive (arresting, disabling) every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Satan has been at his game for a long time and knows how to play it, but "...we are not ignorant of his schemes" (2 Corinthians 2:11) to "...steal, kill and destroy" (John 10:10a).

If worrying has become a habit, you must decide to be intentional about vaporizing the dependence on its company. We don't need to allow it to pull up a chair and stay awhile, anymore. Amen?

Share your thoughts.

~"Sam"

Girlfriends-in-Ministry: What's a Worry-Pot(pie) To Do?

It was the wee hours of the morning I was to speak at a ladies’ retreat. My mind was busy before I opened my eyes. I was worried. My mind was mapping out various strategies to attempt to solve what I’ve deemed The-Really-Big-Problem. No matter which approach I made, The-Really-Big-Problem loomed. At one point, I almost saw it growing. How can I speak about casting our cares on God, when my faith is paralyzed from worry?

In early August The-Really-Big-Problem was an obstacle to an opportunity when the assuring voice of God whispered, “Watch what I can do.” I calmed myself instantly. Now, weeks later, thinking I had mistaken the whisper to be of my own making, I allowed The-Really-Big-Problem to, once again, begin suffocating my faith.

When will I learn those lessons?

Because God is a long-suffering Father, He chose to reveal His promise to me while I was reading in Jeremiah. If you’ve ever read this book in the Bible, you’ll understand it’s not a pleasurable read. It was on my list for September and determination was my drive to quickly get through that book until Chapter 6, verse18 (CEV).

There it was. No. There HE was capturing my attention in black and white with the same assuring words meant as a warning to an obstinate nation.

Worry is never useful. It diminishes us. Perspective is skewed causing opposing ideas to God and His Word. The imagination worry conjures cuts the oxygen to our faith. Thus, pulling the plug on an abundant life pleasing to our loving, living Creator.

What's a Worry-Pot(pie) to do?  I will tear down imaginations and every thing (like The-Really-Big-Problem) that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and disable every anxious thought to make it obedient to Christ. --2 Corinthians 10:5

Girlfriends-in-Ministry: A Healthy Serving of Shepherd's Pie

A number of years ago, my minister-husband asked I teach a session during a conference to address the subject of Emotions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with emotions. Our emotions express our feelings of interaction with other humans. There is no sin in having emotions. In fact, the Old Testament records our Creator’s emotions in relating with His creation, His children. By His hand and breath, He has formed us with a great well of emotions.

The problem is when our emotions run away uncontrolled and lead us instead of us leading them. Because emotions are not in a solid form, it makes them difficult to handle.

The point is not to get rid of our emotions. The point is to manage or to “shepherd” these emotions with control in the right direction.

My disclaimer:  I, too, am a person full of emotions eager to be expressed in their many forms. In the past I have allowed some emotions to be out of balance…especially when I felt someone “pushed my buttons” or too many stresses of life piled on. I am not qualified to address this topic using my reserves of knowledge. Instead, I accessed credited sources, including: Managing Your Emotions by Joyce Meyer; Happiness is a Choice by Frank Minirth & Paul Meier; Blue Genes by Paul Meier; an enlightened conversation with Elizabeth A. Jones, Licensed Clinical PH.D of Christian Counseling Center and aligning all with the Holy Bible.

Taking an expository look into a childhood nursery rhyme, we'll whip up a recipe for  healthy emotions.

~

Little Bo Peep

Has lost her sheep

And doesn’t know where to find them.

But Jesus knows and can bring them home

Wagging their tails behind them!

~

"Little Bo Peep," our miniature shepherdess, represents us (you and me).

“Has lost her sheep”… Runaway Sheep represent our emotions. Ms. Peep has lost control of her emotions. When we start living totally led by emotions, we see through a skewed filter, which distorts every word and action by others. Ultimately this distortion leads us away from or out of the will of God. Decisions made are usually knee-jerk reactions based on how we “feel” at the time. 

“And doesn’t know where to find them”… Ms. Peep doesn’t know why she can’t gather her “sheep” (emotions) or can’t seem to get it together. A person who is crippled by the symptoms of broken emotions and unable to function from day-to-day should seek professional, good-quality counsel and/or Christian psychiatric care. Don’t be ashamed to get this counseling. Drs. Minirth & Meier suggest “Christian counseling is synonymous with discipleship.”

“But Jesus knows”… Jesus is the Word. And, the Word is God (John 1:1). He is the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6). He is everywhere at the same time (Ps 139:7-12). He is with you, now (Matt. 28:20). The Word knows everything (Isaiah 40:14, Colossians 2:2-3).

“And can bring them home”…

Step 1: Face Truth

“If you live out My word (teaching), you are truly My disciples.

And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

The first thing is to face the truth and not live in denial. Admitting we are hurting from emotional wounds is the beginning of wrangling those runaway sheep.

Step 2: Forgive & Forget

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever offenses you may have.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colosians 3:13

Whether intentional or unintentional, offenses occur. One of the main causes for runaway sheep (uncontrolled emotions) is not forgiving someone or one’s self. If left to fester, these grudges will destroy you and your relationship with God and others. Yes, anger can be controlled. Read Ephesians 4:26.

Step 3: Spend Time in the Word

“Let God transform you by changing the way you think.”  Romans 12:2

It’s important to spend time each day reading the Word and applying it to our lives. When we constantly tell ourselves a lie, we’ll begin to believe that lie. In turn, when we read the Word of Truth, we begin to believe the Truth of the Word. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

Step 4: Get Real with Family

Amnon, Tamar, Absalom & King David -  2 Samuel Chapters 13-19

Do all you can to resolve family/intimate relationship conflicts. Pray for the Holy Ghost to give you creative wisdom to accomplish this task. Spend time fortifying the family structure by promoting honest and open communication including opinions, allowing times of learning from mistakes, praising each other’s accomplishments, playing together, respecting one another, loving and forgiving to the fullest. Our children become us by actions and reactions. “Guard what has been entrusted to your care.” (1 Timothy 6:20)

Step 5: Build Friendships

"Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." 

Philippians 2:4

God created us to be social. The above verse reinforces the idea that once you get your

eyes off of yourself, your perspective will change. Develop healthy friendships with the

same sex. Many people feel a relief simply by talking to a friend who will truly listen and, if

need be, speak the truth in love. This friend would not judge nor compromise. AND, the day

may come whereby we become everything that person was to us.

Step 6: Practice Prayer

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Colossians 4:2

                                               

What could be more beneficial than intimate conversations with our Heavenly Father, the Great Shepherd? Prayer is the key to Christian living. Through prayer we access the Peace that should not exist in the chaos of this life. Through prayer we tap into the supernatural power able to save a person’s soul and heal broken emotions. The Holy Ghost can bring situations, people and our own personal weaknesses to light where we can target our prayers. Deciding to have an attitude of gratitude aligns the spirit with the will thus positioning us to receive from God. He meets us at the point of our need.

Step 7: Focus on Behavior

"God gives you the 'want to' [the will] and the ability to follow through [the act] to His

good purpose." Philippians 2:13 (SAMT - "Sam" Translation)

Just as Jesus comes to bring abundant life, Satan comes to destroy it. (John 10:10) He will always try to distort our way to the Way. By accessing the Word and good counsel, illumination occurs. We take responsibility for our runaway sheep. When you say, “I can’t,” you’re really saying, “I won’t.” God created in His image with a will to choose. We must employ self-dialogue and actions which bring positive change. We learn to choose or to “shepherd” our emotions.

“Wagging their tails behind them!” ... Wagging tails represent by-products of a process that involves a series of good choices or good shepherding. These byproducts are Joy, Happiness and Peace. “How long will it take to experience these by-products, again?” It’s your choice.

P.S.  My apologies for the eternal length of this blog post. I pray you find it a recipe you'll pass along to a friend-in-need. Please leave a comment, I would so love to connect with you!