The Voice of God

Psalm 29. The voice of God. Powerfully exact with one word. Merely the sound of it strikes with lightening! 

I am frightened and more than humbled to realize there is surely an incredible degree to which His voice is tempered when speaking to tiny me.

God speaks. I am rebuked, but not annihilated.

Insignificance and favor and holy fear braid themselves around my soul leaving me without voice.

God speaks. I am extracted, yet remain whole.

With hidden pride, selfish motive and miserly method instantly clarified, I am rendered undone.

God speaks. I am pure.

Blessed with peace and strength, I am, now, full with His voice.

Can you relate?

The Best Things in Life are Costly

We've all heard the The Beatles banging out the lyrics "The best things in life are free, But you can keep them for the birds and bees. Now, give me money. That's what I want!" And, who doesn't want money? A topic for another day.

The best things in life are free. Now, there's a subject!

Free typically is a ploy to draw you into a bargain that is going to cost you something. "BOGO"- See what I mean?

The best things in life are costly. Please keep reading. I'm not promoting lifestyles dripping with diamonds and custom Bentleys. If the stuff accumulated in my life were to melt away, what would be left? 

I am a believer in the living and loving God. Although free to me, that relationship would cost Him dearly. 

For God so loved the world

He gave His only son

And whoever believes in Him will not perish

But have eternal life.

John 3:16

I am an American living in the Land of the Free. It is quite sobering when acknowledging the cost of freedom. Men and women gave their lives for me to claim and enjoy this earthen right. From the first immigrant stepping on to our rich soil a couple of hundred years ago to the U.S. soldier stepping on an IED, yesterday, it cost dearly. 

Upon learning five brothers had been lost during the Civil War, it is reported President Abraham Lincoln sent these words of comfort to Mrs. Lydia Bixby...

Executive Mansion,
Washington, Nov. 21, 1864.

Dear Madam,--
I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.
I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.
I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.
Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,
A. Lincoln

The best free things in my life are costly. Freedom and Salvation. Money could never afford those things. 

Guest Blogger: Janay Roberts

Me in the upper left-hand corner - 2007

A Weight Loss Journey

My weight loss journey began in 2007, when I was at a point in my life when I was desperate to change my health. When my girls were ages 7 and 4 and wanted me to play with them at the park, it was very hard for me as I was extremely overweight! When my younger daughter asked me to go down the slide with her, it was a big wake-up call when I climbed up and discovered that I could not really fit. I knew then I needed to change and almost broke down in tears! If I wanted to enjoy my girls' growing up years, I had to change my lifestyle.

In April of 2007, I began that journey. I knew it was going to be a very tough journey, but realized I did not put the weight on overnight, so it was not going to come off overnight. The day I chose to begin my journey, I stepped on the scale and with tears in my eyes, I stepped off. I was 30 years old and weighed 269 pounds. I prayed, "God, I can only
do this with Your help."

I drank diet pop like crazy. I ate everything fried. I did not watch my portions. I ate tons of sweets. I ate late at night. The list goes on. Many changes needed to be made so I picked a few and started there. Knowing I could not change everything at one time, I decided to take baby steps.

Wedding day - 1997

I cut down the amount of pop and drank water with flavor packets. At the time, I could not stand drinking plain water. I cut out fried foods and watched how much I ate. 

It was amazing at how much better I started feeling and how much more energy I had!

The weight started coming off! I was determined I was going to take it off without surgeries or pills. Little by little, I kept adding disciplines to my eating habits. I limited sweets and counted calories and exercised like a crazy person. Three years ago, I completely stopped drinking pop. Withdrawals? Oh yes! But, after a few days, it was easy.

Determined, I arrived at my goal weight one month before by my birthday in March 2013, weighing in at 135 lbs! I was so excited! When I started this journey, I was in a size 22/24 plus size. My Easter dress, last year, was a size 4! I was PUMPED!

Then, in May of 2013, we lost our home and everything we owned to the F5 tornado in Moore, Oklahoma.

Having to live in a hotel for over two months, we ate out for all three meals every day. I tried to be careful, but it was hard. I purchased a set of scales after we moved into our new home. Those months of dining out and stress eating caused me to gain 34 pounds. I cried.

ME, NOW - 2014!

I have started exercising and eating healthy, again. With determination, like before, the weight IS going to come back off. I hope by this summer, I am really close to where I was!

I promise you, this journey has not been easy and there were and are still times we go places where everyone around me is eating unhealthy choices and sweets. I just ask God help me with the intentness and wisdom to make wise choices. Have I splurged? Absolutely. It is okay as long as I don't splurge daily!

I give God all the glory for getting me to this size. I can't wait to get back to my goal weight by shedding those "tornado pounds!" 

I pray He gives you the determination that He gave me!

Smiling at 50: Empty-nesters

Christmas Trail Run - Arkansas - 2013

There are bushels of blogs, devotions and books dedicated to the seasons that women experience in their adult lives. College grad running toward the career of her dreams. Newly married. Mom. Empty-nester. The autumn and subsequent twilight winter years. 

I find myself in the empty-nester season when our only son recently married and our new puppy, Zuzu, has become our fuzzy, new child. Yes, we talk in high-pitched tones and pamper her with treats and sweaters and permit extended time stretched out at the foot of the bed, where she keeps my feet warm.

Facetime from India

It is that time in life when my hubby and I rediscover who we were pre-parenthood. What did we ever talk about before our "favorite son" (and only son) was born? Are we different? Have we met any of those newly-married goals we talked about deep into the night? I hope we are the favorite grandparents! What will that first grandchild call me? Where do we see ourselves in the not-so-distant future when it's finally time to retire? Am I going to be one of those pink-haired little old ladies with too much "rouge" coloring the apples of her wrinkled cheeks and stockings sagging around her ankles?

Seasons. Struggles. Transitions. Blessings.

I am a blessed woman. I love and am loved by my high school sweetheart. He is a hard

Mile 1 - post heart attack, 2013

worker and loves the God he preaches about at every opportunity. I get to accompany him on speaking engagements. And, sometimes, I get to sing or play the piano...like we did early on! When he's on fire in the pulpit and the words are flowing, I am certain my eyes sparkle and a little smile tugs at the corners of my lips, because I still find him attractive.

The weird and wondrous qualities of this stage are slowly emerging much like watching the image appear from a block of marble under the careful tooling of the craftsman. I love sleeping late or getting up early during the week however the schedule falls. We aren't tied to three meals a day. Sometimes, a a box of fudge brownie mix is as much a symbol of affection as a bouquet of roses. 

Running and fitness have become our new hobbies. He supports my training for the

Training Week 3, 2014

10K in April and says, "You've got this! You run faster than me." And, pushes when I experience the I-don't-wannas. "The sun's shining, today. How about we grab something to eat in Murfreesboro and do one of the routes on The Coffee Marathon?" Instead, we check-off two routes!

I'm a better me because of him. This empty-nesting season doesn't seem to bother him. Turning 50 doesn't rattle him or if it does, he covers it well. It's just another year. In celebration he wants to jump out of a plane with me and I want to hike a section of the Appalachian Trail with him!

I try not to fret about the color of my hair and the new "crows feet" to the side of my eyes. I have my honey, who compliments me and complements me no matter which season we walk through!

Smiling at 50 Training Week 3 Update: This week's bipolar southern winter runs me inside for cardio, one day, and outside on the next day for my training runs.

Smiling at 50: My Wonderful Report!

I have lived in pain for several years.
Plantar Fasciitis. 
There haven’t been many mornings where I could stretch without pain and tenderness in my right foot and heel. Going barefoot is almost intolerable. Wearing flat shoes would leave me feeling hobbled in just a few hours. High heel shoes are easy to wear because the ball of the foot bears the weight. Forget about jumping out of bed or rising from a chair and walking normally. What causes it? Don’t really know. I’ve prayed for healing for years.

Last week I began training for a 10K, which involves running, walking, strength training, and cross training. I knew it would be tough on my foot, but if I could push through the pain of each first mile, I could do the training and, ultimately, the race.

However, this week a sharp tugging in my left shin presented. Shin splint. Between this new development and my old issue, I painfully struggled through Zumba Fitness and went home defeated and feeling crippled.

While soaking my leg and foot in a hot bath, I cried to God, one more time, to heal me. “I can hardly walk. I’m empty of myself. I’m empty of pride. I have no Plan B. I believe in Your divine healing.” Later, the thought flew through my brain that when I wake up I could be healed. I giggled to myself, “Now, that’s childlike faith just assuming I’d wake up pain free.”

This morning, I stretched and quickly realized something was different. No pain! I’ve walked stiff-ankled out of habit for so long, I had to be intentional about walking correctly. Every step I take is in victory! I give God the glory for healing! Tonight, my foot is fatigued from being up most all day, but there is no pain! Oh, and the left shin…there’s no pain in it, either!

I waited until now to reveal my wonderful news, because I had to be certain! There is still slight swelling and some stiffness, but I choose to believe He is faithful to “complete that which He started” (Phil 1:6) in me!

What are your thoughts about healing?

Happy #HeartAttackComeback Day!

Terry. 1 month
after heart attack
Glacier Park - MT

December 18th is a new major holiday 

for the Allen Clan!

It's Happy Heart Day!

It's Terry-Survived-a-Heart-Attack Day!

It's #HeartAttackComeback Day!

What?! You didn't hear? On December 18, 2012, my hubby --Terry Allen-- hadn't been feeling great; however, had been keeping that fact from me for about two weeks. That morning when Terry went for a run, he didn't get very far and knew something was seriously wrong. The situation only worsened and by evening, he called me from a parking lot screaming in pain to meet him at the hospital because the ambulance had been called. Our son, Dane, and his then-fiancé, Emily, quickly met us there. 

T was life-flighted to Vanderbilt Hospital where a cardiac team quickly accessed his problem and saved my husband's life. I sat up all night in a dark corner praying, observing the attentive team and listening to the various beeps and breathing of my honey. Being a Believer in God's power for healing, I didn't need to hear comforting words of well-meaning friends, I just wanted to sense the nearness of my Savior, Jesus Christ. And, I did.

Drew & Daney.
Gotta find joy somewhere!

I can recall many details of those next few days. Too many to list. I remember waking in the waiting room to the rustling of a paper bag as our dear friend and pastor, Drew, handed me a cup of hot tea and said, "Wow. You look rough." I remember Aaron "Smiley" Farmer (my summer son) walking around the corner in the waiting room just as my emotions and fatigue collided. He brought my fave hazelnut coffee and bagels. I remember Daney fielding questions on the cellphone and becoming a man in my eyes. I remember driving away from Vandy with T riding shotgun. Kinda hard to drive with your eyes full of tears. I remember waking up early and sitting quietly with "mah mayn" in the glow of the Christmas tree reading our eReader versions of the Bible.

This year, 2013, has been Terry's #HeartAttackComeback year. In celebration of his life and the one year anniversary, I asked (um...really, I told) him when he was finished writing his post on the day before, I wanted to include it on my site, too!

Dane's Recovery Instructions
to Dad
in the Cardiac Care Unit
of Vandy

1 month anniversary
with
Lowell & Tami Hochhalter
Glacier Park - MT

Today I ran and walked 13.1 miles for 14 reasons... (or 13.1 reasons)

Mile 1 - Gratefulness. I am just happy to be alive.

Mile 2 - Fear...For one solid year I have thought about having another heart attack. Every morning it was one of my first thoughts. Every time I took my daily medicine. With every pain has come a whisper of my demise and I am flat sick of it. I will not be controlled by a spirit of fear. Period.

Mile 3 - 12/18 is the heart attack anniversary and I thought it would be great to do it before I go to the doctor tomorrow.

Mile 4 - I set a goal to run a half marathon by the end of 2013, and it was within my grasp. I honestly didn't know if my body could take it, but I refused to give up on the goal and not at

Terry & Drew.
Sunday following heart attack

least try.

Mile 5 - For everyone who struggles with depression. For the darkness that tells you your life is over...Don't believe it.

Mile 6 - For my Hebrews Eleven Life Group (a.k.a LifeNet). I wanted to knock out a hope target for them.

Mile 7 - For my Pastor and best friend, Andrew Wharton, who sat in the car and prayed for me, followed the ambulance, lobbied to get on the life flight and stayed up all night in the hospital with me. ICU will never be the same.

Mile 8 - For every person that has slugged it out this year to change and comeback from addiction, bad health or another life struggle.

Mile 9 - For all my encouraging friends who prayed and took the time to visit, call & care.

T & me.
Our first completed mile
toward the
#HeartAttackComeback

Especially Jim & Bonnie Long, Lowell Hochhalter, Tami Parker Hochhalter, Kent & Kelley Tucker Steven Morgan, Shannon Baugh Morgan, David Morgan, Randy Valimont, Terry Bailey, Glenn Burks, Larry Vine, John & Laura Driver, Roy & Cari Stone, Eduardo & Sandra Rocha, Jonnie & Curry Wethington...and more.

Mile 10 - Because I'm not a quitter.

Mile 11 - Eleven was for my mother and family. My father died in her arms from a heart attack afew years ago and when I had my episode she had to relive those memories. This one was for her peace, happiness and to give another punch in the face to worry for making her cry.

Mile 12 - I ran it for Dane Allen. No kid should have worry about his dad losing his life so early. I ran it to punch worry in the face for making my son uncomfortable. Don't mess with my kid.

T & me.
At Dane & Emily's wedding
September 14, 2013

Mile 13 - I ran it for Samalee Allen and for all of her incredible sacrifice this year in helping me get healthy. Honestly, I also wanted to destroy any fear she may deal with of losing her husband. We are one and I will not stand for fear in the eyes of my wife. 

Mile 13.1 - I ran it because there is "no sweeter name than the name of Jesus. No sweeter name that I've ever known." - Kari Jobe has sung that to me a hundred times this year and I believe it. "You are the light in my heart and my soul. You are the light to the darkness around me." Without Jesus and his help I would not be here. This whole journey is a testament to His grace and mercy. The finish was for Him.

I love you, Terry Allen. 
I love you 'til the day I die.
Together, we can conquer the world in love. 
You and I. 

Happy #HeartAttackComeback Day!

Book Review: Draw the Circle

In the 40 days leading up to Easter Sunday, the church where my family attends began a prayer focus. The goal was for each member of the congregation to voluntarily purchase and read a chapter daily from Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson in addition to reading the Bible and being intentional about praying. 

Each chapter is a quick read with a personal story to bring the reality of that day's reading to the forefront. The book is a spin-off prayer challenge to The Circle Maker written by the same author.

Our people were encouraged to pray. Prayer could be in the form of speaking aloud, journaling quietly, alone or with a group, done while kneeling, walking or sitting in bed before the light was turned out. If those members had Facebook and Twitter accounts, they could post the time they were praying followed by the hashtag "#LA40Days" like a classified code known only to the participants.

No matter the HOW or the WHEN, the idea was for people to pursue an intimate relationship with God, our living, loving, Heavenly Father. 

Wednesday prior to Easter weekend as the challenge was winding down, several of our church friends expressed they were sad this mutual activity would be completed. The camaraderie of lifting another person's name in prayer and genuinely caring for others' needs has increased faith and motivated faith into action! Here's the truth: Prayer doesn't have to end!

If you are looking to establish a habit of daily connecting with God AND to build faith AND to see your life transformed, look into Draw the Circle as an accompaniment to your spiritual disciplines personally, with your family and as a group.

Have you already read Draw the Circle? What're your thoughts?

Nutrition and Fitness: Know Your Numbers!

"Ms. Allen?"
"Yes."
"I have the results of your recent blood work. All is normal."
"Normal?"
"Yes. Have a nice day."

"WAIT! I need to know what those numbers are."
"Would you understand what those numbers meant, if I told you?"
"Yes! See, I've been working really hard for a long time and want to know if it paid off."
"Your total Cholesterol is 177 and your TSH is 1.96."
"HOLY COW! HOLY COW!"

When you've struggled with with lousy, high cholesterol all of your adult life...
When 1/3 of your momma's heart doesn't work due to a major heart attack...
When the average weight for everyone on the maternal-side of your family is at 200+ lbs...
When you're genetically predisposed to high cholesterol...
When your grandmother and bio-dad died of heart disease...

...you want to know your numbers!

Let's Break Down the Numbers

Cholesterol is a fatty substance manufactured by our liver. Lipoproteins are fat and protein vehicles that transport Cholesterol. There are several kinds of vehicles, but we'll keep to the 2 major types everybody talks about, LDL and HDL.

LDL (low-density Lipoprotein) - the wheelbarrow transporting cholesterol to the vessels and arteries.
HDL (high-density Lipoprotein) - the Amtrak transporting cholesterol out of the body

An easy way to remember which is which:
LDL = "Lousy"-density Lipoprotein (eL-evating the risk for heart attack)
HDL = "Healthy"-density Lipoprotein (hauling-out the risk for heart attack)

The average healthy person should have an LDL of <200, even better to have <130. For those who have risk factors (genetics, heart disease, obesity, smoking, hypothyroidism, fatty diet and an inactive lifestyle), the good doctors desire to push the LDL numbers down below 100. This is really a hard feat without the help of meds, nutrition and fitness working together.

The target HDL of an average healthy person is >60. If the HDL number is lower, this increases the risk for heart attack. 

My Experience with the Numbers

My total Cholesterol has been over 260 since my early twenties when it was tested. I am genetically predisposed for high cholesterol, but helped to keep it high with my poor nutritional choices. And, at some point, my thyroid decided to stop functioning efficiently. The thyroid aids in ushering out the LDL. Mine wasn't doing it's job. So, three years ago I started taking Levothyroxine (Synthroid) to keep my thyroid active and hoping to bring both thyroid and LDL numbers down. Still, the numbers remained unhealthily high.

When the doctor decided to ward off the potential for a heart attack, he prescribed Atorvastatin (Lipitor) and I cried like a baby. I felt like a failure and a geriatric. I, now, refer to my meds as "vitamins." Again, there was little change in the LDL numbers, even while being semi-active.

December 1, 2012, through prayer I felt like God was encouraging me to go on a partial fast eating only fruits, veggies, nuts and whole grains while avoiding animal proteins and sugar. Not easy for a couple of weeks. Then, on December 18, my husband suffered a heart attack...about the time of the arrival of my Forks Over Knives cookbook. I watched the documentary by the same name in the Critical Care Unit at Vanderbilt Hospital as Terry slept.

The church where we attend is focusing on a 40-Day Prayer Challenge. One of my prayer "seeds" is to receive healing from this lifelong battle with lousy, high LDL...even if God has me work for it! 

Jan 2010: Total Cholesterol 336, LDL 250, TSH 11.45
Mar 2010: Total Cholesterol 313, LDL 225, TSH 6.18
May 2011: Total Cholesterol 339, LDL 256, TSH 3.47
Sep 2011: Total Cholesterol 250, LDL 173, TSH 6.12
Feb 2012: Total Cholesterol 207, LDL 130, TSH .92
Mar 2013: Total Cholesterol 177, LDL 98,  TSH 1.96

So, what brought my numbers down?

I am convinced that without spiritual intervention, my numbers wouldn't have changed so dramatically. I continue to pursue healthy, nutritional choices with plant-based foods on a daily basis and consuming meat only once-per-month. Consistently, my fitness includes 2-3 hours of cardio (including Zumba), each week, and recently adding light weight training. And, I still take my "vitamins." It is my prayer to be taken off the cholesterol drug although my age (50 in June) and the odds are against it. I believe in God's odds as my prayers are being answered and my 
numbers finally reflect a change!

I'm jazzed when someone contacts me quietly...in an email. I'm super stoked when someone leaves a comment on the blog! Please let me know if this was a helpful post either below or in an email. Thanks!

Calcutta Mercy Ministries: Hands & Feet

Calcutta is approximately 9 miles long and 4 miles wide roughly the square mileage of the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport with a major difference: 18-20 million people. It is easy for one to feel overwhelmed when the needs are many and the scores of people in need are many. One out of three children aren't just hungry, they are starving.

Shortly after Mark and Huldah Buntain arrived in 1954 by steam freighter, Mark quickly got to work preaching the Gospel to all who would hear. On one such occasion a starving beggar in the crowd shouted, "Feed our bellies and then tell us there is a God in heaven who loves us." This inspired the Buntains to launch a feeding program which, today, feeds 25,000+...one meal, six days, each week, every year. 

Amazingly, it takes so little to do so much!

Since April of 2012, when Terry and I began working with Calcutta Mercy Ministries, the Lord continues to bless us with numerous congregations and individuals who take a step of faith to assist with the needs of the poor and suffering in Calcutta. Priscilla Choate is one of those blessings!

Priscilla & me, 2012

Priscilla, as a student, loved going to summer camps at Camp Jackson in Tennessee. She couldn't wait to be old enough to serve as a "Counselor-in-Training" during Kids Camp. Ever eager to be a blessing to others, she engages with her church's outreach programs. However, now, stretched pretty thin between nursing school and work, Priscilla's desire to remain active with her church is intact even when the schedule does not always permit. 

It is in this busyness of life, she felt God challenge her to do something for those in Calcutta.

Priscilla shared with me, "God says in Matthew 25:40, 'The King will reply, Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brother and sisters of mine, you did for me.' God has really been dealing with me about being His hands and feet on earth and the fact that sometimes we are the only representation of Jesus that some will ever see."

By telling others she encountered on a daily basis about those starving in Calcutta, people began giving her cash and checks. Priscilla was able to raise over $600 in a short amount of time!
"God spoke to me and said, 'Your little can be turned into what I need it to be when you simply give it to me. ...I have seen through this experience of raising money for Calcutta that it is so much more than just the money; it's the prayers and the blessings that people obtain from giving, as well...people were so thankful for the opportunity to be a blessing."

After graduation from nursing school in August 2013, Priscilla hopes to go to India, but wanted to contribute in advance: I wanted to plant a seed before my feet walk across Calcutta, India. This is not about me, but about the calling God has placed on my life. We have the opportunity to change a life everyday.

Thanks, Priscilla, and to those anonymous donors who made it possible for children to have, at least, one meal...today.

If you'd like to know how to be part of this and other opportunities, please contact me at this blog OR via email.

Priorities (Fourth Priority, Series Conclusion)

It's taken a couple of extra months to come around to the series conclusion of Priorities. Interestingly the reasons for its delayed post helps to solidify the structure.

1. God
2. Family
3. Ministry / Career
4. Myself

Here's the deal: If you or I do not take the initiative to care for ourselves, we will not have the time, desire, energy or health to focus on the first three priorities. Remember that LIFE HAPPENS beyond our control and, most of the time, takes us by surprise. Having your set of priorities firmly fixed will allow for bending, but not breaking. The following are some of my objectives:

• I’ve decided not to copy someone, but to learn from them.

• Striving for perfection leaves one emotionally and physically drained.

• I’ve learned that not many enjoy being around an insecure person who constantly shoves the baggage from her past into their laps.

• A positive attitude is vital! It keeps my eyes sparkling. It keeps me smiling. It’s a great witness for Christ…even to Christians.

• I am the only one who will take care of my body. I want to feel my best.

• I have interests and hobbies, outside the ministry and/or career, where I can refresh.

Jesus knew the necessity of rest and relaxation.

“Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while.”

(Mark 6:31 KJV)

Why we must “come apart” or we will “fall apart”:

Rest, Reflect, Develop Perspective, Renew and Think.

~Maury Davis

• I continue to grow. I read. I study. I observe. I listen to those who have years of experience. I attempt that which doesn’t always feel comfortable at the time. 

• Colossians 3:23 “Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do; as though you were working for the Lord instead of people. (NLT).

Do all the good you can

By all the means you can

In all the ways you can

In all the places you can

At all the times you can

To all the people you can

As long as ever you can

 ~John Wesley

Whenever I sense internal markers which are at conflict or a decision seems difficult to settle, I pull back and examine myself within the lines of my priorities. Additionally, I pray for peace. Remember the story at the beginning of this series? Re-constructing my priorities afforded peace. I could then relax in letting God be the bedrock holding me firm. Sure, strong winds may blow a challenge against my building blocks. However, decisions based on these priorities are secure and we will receive our reward from our living, loving Heavenly Father.

I invite your own observations. If you choose to keep it private, click here for my email.