100 Days of Summer 81-90/100

08.29.19.  Self-control. Are you kidding me [more of statement than a question].

Since last weekend, most of the devos Lysa TerKeurst has covered in the EMBRACED book circle around allowing the Word at work in me to control me, because it's changing me from the deep core of the soul outward to my reactions to strangers, family, friends and that other group of beings who have no category with the exception of they get on my one last nerve. My solace is that category is small.

sigh.

My blood started simmering, today, while in a waiting room. A gloriously deserted waiting room. I plug in my cell in the only outlet available and hidden in the room. I retrieve my water bottle and a novel from my roped KAVU®, where all sorts of personal luxuries exist for an extended stay in the waiting room, and settle in for an enjoyable, quiet reading session.

Then, just as the young bride on St. Simon's Island, Georgia, is to plight her troth to the handsome groom from Scotland, he swaggers by and cusses to another lady who just came around the corner and works in this building. Then, he slouches into a chair across the once-empty room and continues to filth & foul about things that only the miserable filth & foul loudly about. 

My head is down and my hat's brim shields my rolling eyes as I continue to refocus on the bridal party's dinner and the many toasts offered up by the loving father of the bride.

He mutters something about fixing or painting something very slowly and making it an all-day project because this is his Friday. With that he starts walking down the hall. My joy is fleeting as he pauses and stands smack dab in front of her whispering in a throaty sound as he makes, what appeared to me, a covert grab at what did not belong to him. Did I really see a sexual harassment just take place? Didn't he just talk about himself having a wife?

Squirming from hip to hip, crossing and uncrossing my legs, I pray, "God, he makes me sick. Make him go away before I stand up." They both move across the hall where I cannot see their activity, but still hear that low, muffled voice. Then, another employee walks down the hall causing the two to separate. I'm just looking around for a supervisorly-ish person to report that bad man's bad behavior. Not a single camera is mounted. Not a single person with authority shows up. Again, they separate, but meander down the hall in the same direction.

I decide that the first chance I get, when she's alone, to let her know she is not being respected and can do better and neither one of them should be conducting themself in this manner in this place...MY QUIET, DESERTED, PUBLIC, WAITING AND READING PLACE!

I never got the opportunity. How I wanted that opportunity with every indignant fiber of my simmering self. I really wanted to verbally kick some tail, today. Honestly, I wasn't sure how he would react to my reaction and I really didn't want him to filth & foul at me, which is most likely what would have happened as I tried to put him in his place. Would I have felt triumphant in my righteous piety?

Ok. So. Back to the Lysa's devotions. Like a sharpened arrow zinged into my brain, instantly I'm reminded of Hebrews 4:12, "For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it slices cleanly through dividing soul and spirit, bone and marrow; its surgical precision separates my thoughts and attitudes and motivations." Scriptures point me back to self-control allowing the living and active Word to be at work in me to control all of me. 

Don't think that I believe God intended for us to be doormats and cowards shrinking away from injustice. I believe He wants us to use wisdom and lean into His voice for guidance.

My blood still simmers thinking about today. But, I know that God's voice whether sensed, heard or written down is working in me and for me. 

100 Days of Summer 74-80/100

08.19.19. I love a fresh start. I even love Mondays. I know. Weird. On Mondays, there's the opportunity to start anew feeling energized. I love a do-over. Growing up, I played church volleyball. If you had any kind of accurate serve, your team was pretty much assured a win. But, if you missed and the ball went wonky or got caught in the net, you got a do-over! I loved church league volleyball for that little grace!

It's Monday morning. Remember, I love Mondays, but today, feels like it's on the brink of doom, like when there's a major fault in a dam and the little town, below, has been evacuated. I feel like my insides are on alert with a spinning red emergency light to that ear-piercing siren honk-blasting the warning. 

Just like the rings of the famous Olympic symbol, everything about us is interconnected with one part effecting the other parts -- body, mind, heart and soul, inside to outside. If one is weakened, the others will feel the need. 

So, I take a quick inventory.

Am I worried? [the mind] There's plenty to be anxious about. But can I actually change one of them by allowing my mind to brew in a vat of worry? No. If I were to make a list of the Top 10... naw, let's go lesser... Top 3 Worries, I may be able to alleviate them in a practical method, but ultimately God's got my back. He isn't surprised and He works on my behalf so that I can keep moving forward.

How's my soul? [the soul] A soul weakened by neglect or hunger can topple the entire structure of body, mind and heart. But, I've been nourishing my soul with scripture and praise music and prayer, both privately and with others. My soul is full and spiritually strong.

Am I tired? [the body] It's been an engaging weekend with a physically exhausting week prior. Some time back in one of the previous 79 devotions in the Embraced book, Lysa TerKeurst acknowledges her own fatigue overlapping into her emotions: A depleted girl can quickly become a defeated girl when she lets emotions dictate her reactions. 

Am I broken-hearted? [the heart/emotions] Aha. Ouchies. Found it. For me, today, this one tends to sit on the curb slack shouldered and teary. This is the culprit that catches in my throat prompting me to ask Why. This is the reason I want to quit everything and run from the crushing pain isolating my broken heart from anything or anyone who intentionally or unknowingly caused the injury. What do ya know, there was a crack in the dam and my eyes are leaking.

Like that little dark cloud raining above a cartoon character's head everywhere he goes, the sadness will hang around. I can't speed off away from it thinking it'll remain in the dust I just left. Nope. That's stinkin' thinkin'. 

It's time to take sound action to acknowledge the hurt [the mind], to pull back from the busyness into a quiet comfortable place for as much time as I need to let all my parts gather in rest [the body] to let being in God's presence [the soul] begin mending my brokenness [the heart].

I won't let this crushing feeling choke my energy by tangling up my thoughts. I choose to trust God.

It make take awhile. And, in the middle of my heartache it may feel like God's not around. But, I will hang my hope in His peace because His love is constant as the sun and His faithfulness is everlasting. This is what I trust. This is where I will find healing. 

"All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and goodness and truth and faithfulness to those who keep His covenant and His testimony." (Psalm 25:10)
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." (Psalm 34:18)

This is the embrace.

100 Days of Summer 55 - 73/100

08.13.19.  Some look forward to summer as a break from the norm adding vacations and extra outdoor dinners and quick weekend excursions. Some take a laid back approach to summer opting for more relaxed time to pursue the latest read or binge-watch a series on Netflix.

Our summer schedule has included all the above and, then some.

This year we launched a non-profit while continuing to press forward with the ministry. My weeks are full leading fitness classes and preparing for fitness classes. Together, Terry and I try to find opportunities to open our home and gather around our table. We live an abundant life full of God's blessing. We don't live large, but our hearts our large to live out the blessings and to make His name known. We pray for miracles. We see miracles. We encourage and receive encouragement. 

Encouragement. The bible speaks of just-right words being spoken at the just-right

time as a beautiful piece of museum worthy art, fine jewelry and a welcome change of weather. (Read Psalm 25:11-13.) This reflects how my spirit has received the 73 devotionals in the EMBRACED book, this summer. 

Each day, Lysa TerKeurst sets a table with nourishment welcoming me to slow down, sit and open my spirit to God's encouragement and, sometimes, rebuke. His rebuke is gentle, because it is savored with love. As I take it in, I'm both corrected and cherished knowing He won't abandon nor punish me with sullenness.

So, as a catch-up of exhortation, I offer standout Lysa-statements from my past very-busy-non-blogging days:

[God] can handle your honesty. 

Disappointment only stings as long as I let it. 

We must process our hurts through the filter of God's love, not through the tangled places of our hearts. 

Grace given when it feels least deserved is the only antidote for bitterness.

Healed people, heal people. 

In this set-apart place, God will give you much-needed special wisdom for the assignment ahead.

The voices of shame and rejection can come at you, but they don't have to reside in you. 

A depleted girl can quickly become a defeated girl when she lets emotions dictate her reactions.

Live from the abundant place, where you are loved and you won't find yourself begging others for scraps of love.

Are you doing this because you are loved or so that you'll be loved?

Proximity and activity don't always equal connectivity.

Do I walk into situations prepared with the fullness of God in me, free to look for ways to bless others?

If we give [a short-term setback] the power to refine [and not define] us, the hurt will give way to healing.

Isn't it comforting to know God isn't ever broken? He isn't ever caught off guard, taken by surprise or shocked by what happens next.

To dwell on hard things keeps us in hard spots and only serves to depend our feelings of emotional emptiness.

Wisdom will help us not repeat the mistakes we've made but rather grow stronger through them.

Our souls were formed to recognize and respond to the calm assurance of Jesus and truth.

Now, after that meal I can recline, pat my tummy and declare myself, "Full to the brim!" Until, tomorrow.

100 Days of Summer 47-54/100

07.24.19.  The goodness of God questioned.

During the past week, hubby and I have been uber busy with ministry and the other responsibilities that our names are associated with. Sharing a home-office computer is a little like doing a dance. 

"While he's with a minister, I'll duck in for a quick stab at the blog." 
"She's doing classes and her 'office' days are Monday and Friday, and I need to get a report done."
"If I don't blog really quickly before he wakes up, then, I'll have to wait until tonight after dinner."

All the while, my brain is pinging on ideas to spiritually connect the dots of the next EMBRACED devo to the next EMBRACED devo and the next day's until there's a week of days piled up and not blogged about. Allow me to catch-you-up on the pile without toppling it over and trapping you underneath...

Lysa TerKeurst has transitioned into Part 3: Embracing Him in the Midst of the Hurt & Heartbreak while asking questions most of us have asked. 

Is God good? If so, how can He allow all this craziness, tragedy and hurt?
Is God good to me? 
Has He rejected me? Do I trust God? 
Where is God when my heart is crushed? 

Smack dab in the confusing middle of a hard-press heartache, I have screamed out to God, "Where are You? Do you see, this?" I'm not the only one. Lysa shares the crushing of her childhood and I'm wide-eyed and jaw-slacked saying, "Me, too."

First, you soooo need this book. Order it here or here. When someone asks what you want for Christmas, tell them about it! Then, you could start your first 100 days of the new year with it!

Next, God IS good. The living and loving Heavenly Father is concerned about everything about you. Even when we question His existence or care about us or the chaos of the world, He is still good. Even when our heart is so heavy to the point of rupture, He is good. 

During a sermon, a father-figure during my teenage years made a statement that stiffened my spine, "How you see your earthly father is how you see your heavenly father."

There's not time enough for me to develop the blog, this morning, because hubby needs the office and I need to get to my classes.  So, to leave you in a state of "Wait, what?" I'm simply going to leave the blog hanging as you think over that statement: How you see your earthly father is how you see your heavenly father. 

100 Days of Summer 43-46/100

07.16.19.  Catch up. Sometimes, I'm caught in a whirlpool of perpetual catch up. How about you?

From sun up to sun down. From Monday to Monday. From meal planning to meal prepping to meals-on-the-table. From laundry room to bathroom. You get the picture. You're probably spinning around inside your own whirlpool.

Hubby and I are in different churches most weekends for ministry, which usually entails Saturday travel. This has been our lifestyle for years. At some point, our home needs attention and underwear needs washing. While many do all the house stuff on their weekends, my Monday is everyone's Saturday. Monday is for catching up on all things that keep us going and in good standing with our neighbors.

Occasionally, Monday is too busy from a too full list of catch up items and Monday stuff gets pushed into Tuesday. And, there you have it -- today is Tuesday which finds me able to sit in front of the computer, finally, to catch up on #100daysofSummer.

The EMBRACED book devotions by Lysa TerKeurst that I haven't blogged about over the past three days have been soul-filling. One especially caught me. Day 44: The Courageous Choice.

Lysa addresses two kinds of courage. One we see in firefighters and other heroes who do brave things by slaying evil things. Then, the other is the courageous choice as she defines "is the decision to do the right thing even when it's unpopular, uncelebrated and probably even unnoticed."


That definition. (gulp)

That definition paired with Philippians 1:20. (double gulp)

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.

So, I decided to catch up an inventory of courageous choices I make to see if they bring a smile to the Father's face. When we make courageous choices, seen or unseen, we are living in faith and faith makes the Father happy! Read Hebrews 11:6 for extra credit.

I make a courageous choice to:

• read my Bible and to read other books, like EMBRACED, to nourish my soul
• be active and provide a way for others to be active
• select clean music in my fitness classes
• gather in pinky-prayer at the end of my cardio classes
• send love note text messages to my children
• pause the schedule to attend doctor appointments with my momma
• promote missions, local, homefront and international on social media
• wear a running skirt with confidence, because #modestishottest
• plan health-conscious meals for my household
• happily greeting business men into our home for their breakfast Bible study on Fridays
• keep my mouth closed when it's not that important for me to verbally beat my chest
• speak up when the situation demands a voice
• find time to pull away from all the noise and recharge my inner battery
• blogging for 100-ish days about what God drops in my heart even if my followers are less than 20 
• being ok living in my own skin without comparison to others

Everyday we choose to show up for that every day thing that we do is brave. We could throw up our hands in frustration because of the monotony of the mundane or the unappreciative feeling that sparks inside our chest when others appear flippant. Yet, we remain constant. We are not doormats, but we are gracious. 

It's time to go catch up on your own courageous choice list, hand it over to God without being ashamed.

Stuck in the Muck

07.12.19.  Goodness! What a great EMBRACED devo by Lysa TerKeurst! You've gotta get this book! (click the word Embraced for the link)

Lysa asks the reader who feels she is in the middle of a mess to answer the following question: Am I letting this mess define me or refine me? Then, she explains the reader's answer is crucial to feeling hopeless or hopeful. 

We all know we cannot stay in the mess whether the mess has us feeling stuck or stranded. Lysa uses scripture to develop three "Go-To Scripts" which become new patterns of thought to speak Truth of the Word into her mess. You'll just have to get the book and look up Day 42 for these Turning North Go-To Scripts.

Reading through today's devotion, my own messes came forward. Some are messier than others. It seems like there are always lessons to be learned in a muck of a mess.  I cannot imagine ever intentionally wanting to remain in a mess especially when we have the power within us to get out of the mess. However, when the mess leaves us feeling stranded --as if God forgot about us-- we can feel that hopelessness weighing heavier and pushing us deeper into the sludge.

I have been there. 

Honestly, I let the mess define me. The word abandoned seeped into my heart adding to the ugliness of being in the mess. From there, anger would climb over a great disappointment choking off my breath. I was sure I would become the first person in history that God forgot and refused to hear her prayers. It wasn't about the mess, anymore. It was about my brokenness.

It is important that Truth resides in your heart. For even when broken or stunned, Truth will surface.

When the enemy of my soul would insert a lie, Truth surfaced.

"God has forgot about you." Then, a bubble would break the surface, "Don't fear. I won't leave you nor forsake you."  


"God won't answer." <blip, blip, blip> "Don't be stressed. Don't be discouraged. I will help you with My right hand."

"You're too weak." <pppp-shsssssshhhhhhh> "You are more than a conqueror through God."

"This is impossible." <fizzy, fizzy, pop> "With God, nothing is impossible."

The scripture Truth I had memorized (maybe not remembering where they were located book, chapter and verse) was rising from the deep and so was my faith!

Then, I broke free to inhale sweet air and let it fill my lungs... "I am a child of God. I am chosen by the King. What touches my life is, first, felt by Him. He knows where I am. I cannot run or hide or be hidden where He cannot find me. I can come boldly to the throne in His presence making my requests known to Him. He hears my every cry. He goes before me and hems me in from behind. I put my hope and trust in Him because He loves me!"

Are you stuck in the muck or stranded in the mess of your own life situations? It's time to let Truth surface.

Oh Well Days

07.11.19.  The past two days have been Oh Well days. Today is sizing up as another.

Oh well.

It's not for a lack of faith nor for a lack of motivation that I don't resolve to seize the day with my usual zeal. My faith is still in tack. My "want to" is simmering just below the dark circles under my watery eyes. I've succumbed to my humanity...I have a cough, laryngitis and overall feeling of weakness. 

Another day chalked up to "Oh well, I gave it a shot. I'll feel better, tomorrow."

So, I cancel fitness classes, let the laundry stay in the dryer, pray, read, rest, and watch historical stories on Netflix until sleep claims me, once again. 

Remember those books called Chicken Soup for the Soul? Each story warmed your heart and lifted your spirit like the chicken noodle soup my hubby brought home from Chick-fil-A, last night. That's how I feel about the last couple of EMBRACED devos where Lysa TerKeurst serves biblical principles with personal experiences.

Because my noggin feels off-kilter and the pillow is calling through a fog slowly rolling in, I feel the need to quickly pass along some truth sparked from these daily devotions.

Celebrate small daily victories. Like battles won in a war, each victory is claiming ground for the territory of our souls. When we practice 2 Peter 1:5-9, we are strengthening our faith. How so? We add to or supplement our faith with things that we can work on, like choosing to do the right thing because it's the right thing (morals). Exercising self-control over whatever tends to trip us, builds our spiritual faith muscle. We are overcomers and our lives are a living testimony of God's mercy, grace and strength. People notice and are drawn to an overcoming life! 

Change the way you think. In Romans 12:1-2, we are encouraged to renew our process of living by renewing our minds. Actively engaging God's best as truth, by default we are automatically replacing negative thought patterns and defeating lies. It's like filling up on something so nourishingly fresh so that there is no room for the old, stale stuff. Keep returning to the table and your very taste changes for that fresh flavor. Our minds are transformed to recognize and respond to His truth. What is that truth? The last line of Romans 8:38-39 encapsulates it: nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Do you see how one fuels the other? We feed our minds on God's best stuff and, then, live it out victoriously and, then, celebrate with a grateful heart bringing us back to the feast, again! 

So, while today may be another Oh, Well day for my body, I'm filling up and getting stronger in my soul!

Raise Your Gaze

07.07.19.  When Terry and I extended our running mileage from three miles to five miles, there was a specific course we would use to keep the workout interesting. It's nothing special and it's not the course we are eager to get to. The noise of the traffic beside us is too loud for music and the exhaust fumes can be sucked in when we are sucking at the air for oxygen.

The real reason we use this out-and-back sidewalk course is for the hills, hills and more hills. Oh and hill repeats. Were you aware there are rolling hills in Tennessee?

Running on a flat track is perfectly fine for an easier run or for when the weather is not cooperating for longer mileage. Simply put, a flat course adds mileage, but doesn't build endurance. Running hills tests the runner's training, requires the runner to make adjustments as she climbs and challenges the runner to lift her gaze to the unchanging focal point as she moves forward to the top.

As a newbie runner back in the spring of 2013, I had no desire to complete a full marathon. That's 26.2 miles of torture! My body did not know 26.2 miles, because it had trained only for the three miles. My mind could not comprehend what longer distances would feel like, because I had trained for the short distances only. Initially, to run farther meant spending more time while feeling weak and winded. There was no motivation inside of me to pursue anything other than what I was doing. That was until after the first race I experienced where the crowd encourages every runner to the finish. As soon as my foot crossed over that magic line, something inside of me awakened to challenge. I knew my training would take on an intentionality for something more difficult.

Running in the White Tank Mountains

Training strengthens the body. The discipline of longer distances more frequently, the addition of core and weight-bearing exercises, and changes to my nutrition were part of the new training. I found a coach who knew how to care and call out. I studied form of known distance runners. I researched equipment and the elevation of my next race.

But my hip joints hurt. My kneecap felt like it was warbling with a sensation near pain. After a quick evaluation, the physical therapist, a runner, immediately recognized what this newbie runner did not. I thought it was a joke and quickly scanned the room for a hidden camera when he gave me the diagnosis.

"Runner's Butt. You have Runner's Butt." To any girl, this sounds like a win! But, no. It's a symptom of weakness. In fact, the warbling kneecap was further confirmation that my hips were weak. He prescribed simple exercises to be repeated at daily intervals. In a few weeks, the exercises proved successful. 

Adjustments must be made during the ascent. Running on a flat course is one foot in front of the other. Pick 'em up. Put 'em down. Keep breathing. There is more to it, but if a person can move in an upright position, she can do a flat course. It is when the incline under her feet begins to rise, the same muscles are called on to engage differently.

Not only had the PT discovered my weak hips, he explained the need to engage muscles differently for the difficulty. It seems my short body is built for endurance. Since those thighs I have detested since puberty are quite strong, it was only natural that I engaged them while running uphill. However, the proper muscle group to engage for climbing hills is the set I sit upon. The glutes! They stabilize and power the movement up with shorter steps. By strengthening and engaging, the adjustments are learned to carry the runner up and over the hill. 

Raise your gaze. There is another technique the runner must employ for running hills:

head up - eyes up. The running coach I continue to ask for wisdom taught me this lesson. The top of a hill does not change. Since we run to where our eyes are focused, it makes sense to keep our eyes fixed on the top of the hill instead of on the road and on our feet during the arduous climb. By lifting our head, even slightly, our capacity for oxygen-rich air increases by lengthening the torso to take in more air, because our lungs are not in a squished position.

You're ahead of me and have paced the running lessons to our spiritual lives. I knew you would! Let's review.

In this life trials will rise up making our journey difficult, but not impossible. As we dig into the Word of Truth (the Bible) and look to spending time in relationship with God -the God of the impossible, He will help strengthen our spirit and teach us how to engage the truths found in the Word. The truth like this one found in Psalm 121:

"I will lift my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help (and strength and breath) comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and earth. He, who does not sleep, will not let your foot fall (or fail)."

I encourage you to read this tiny chapter with its eight power-packed verses for yourself, this evening. Are you ready to get up earlier or abandon stupid tv shows opting for time spent with God?

Raise your gaze, my friend. It is time to be intentional with your training.

Brokenness Mended Again

07.05.19.  Have you ever wanted to shake your fist to the heavens? Have hard times and insensitive behavior of others left you feeling kicked in the gut, broken-hearted and weak as water? Perhaps, you -like me-  have lifted a defiant chin, gritted your teeth and made a declaration as a modern version of Scarlett O'Hara. 

"As God as my witness, they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry, again."

I have been, there. Not so much the actual food dealio, but I have been there spiritually and emotionally. 

It's funny-not-funny that when I have been at the point where it felt like my spirit was broken and there was no strength to be summoned, up from some abyss deep within this 5'3" frame, a resolve slowly starts to steam its way upward, builds pressure at the back of my throat until it finds my tongue and I snap out a charge at God. 

"Are You listening? Do You see me? Why aren't You doing anything? Am I not Your child?"

If you read this with your finest idea of sarcasm and bitterness and frustration, you have come pretty close to how hard I symbolically shook my fist. I know He is big enough to take it. Honestly, I imagine He sighs at my outburst, "Finally, you're at a point of trusting My words instead of trusting your 'tools' to attempt to bury or heal your pain."

There is this one verse in Psalms 34 offered to bring comfort after someone dies and the loss is more than a loved one can bear. But, what if this same verse were applied when a person is face down with their soul shattered into thin, glass splinters and they are disillusioned with God? 

If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;

If you're kicked in the gut, He'll help you catch your breath.

Psalm 34:18 MSG

He knows me. He knows the motivation behind the frustration. He knows I know He's right there. Clearly I don't doubt His existence, because I'm hurling questions. I'm certainly not punishing Him with my silence. If perspective is reality, I think it's from a wounding of perceived abandonment that I and others angrily knit our brow and snarl our offenses as threats. 

What do we do after that? What do you do after that?

This post could go deep while the word count climbs to trace back the wounding to the heart of the matter and analyze from all angles and quote famous and knowledgeable people. But, I don't want to go there. 

I want to offer honest observation of my own brokenness-mended. 

I keep coming back and turning over all my stuff to the living and loving Heavenly Father who has known me from before recorded time and chooses to continue to love while walking me through every alleged disappointment I have with Him. After exhausting my challenge and shaking in my anger, God speaks and I absorb His love surrounding me. He gently sweeps up all the splintered pieces mending my brokenness with His Word and with His peace. 

Peace in chaos. This doesn't make sense.

I'm not suggesting I experience a cloud of cotton candy buffering my boo-boos as I float away in a totally relaxed state of mind while all my troubles disappear. On the contrary.

I've taken the freedom to note my interpretation of 1 Peter 5:7... "Give all your stuff to God, because He is most careful with you." 

All my stuff I just blasted Him with is an ammunitions offload while the chaos is still swirling around. By faith, I'm giving all my stuff to Him to deal with knowing when He speaks, my anxiety is hefted by shoulders bigger than mine. When He speaks, wisdom for direction is dropped into my noggin. When He speaks, hope is ignited with promise. It is after He speaks when I have clarity to focus on the truth of His Words and move with intentionality. 

What about you? Isn't it time to give all your stuff to Him? Are you done being angry with His way of doing things? He's got your best interest at heart and is ready when you are to talk it over. Are you ready to have your brokenness mended ...again?

---------------
I'm not quite sure what was in the Day 35 devo in the EMBRACED book by Lysa TerKeurst which sparked my thoughts. Order the book for your own 100 Devotions to Know God is Holding You Close. 

Soul-Satiating

07.02.19.  Truth. Trust. Provision. Seeking. Soul-satiating.

Terry, my hubby, knows me inside-out. Terry sees me doing all the things and filling up the daily schedule and, when having been totally spent, he sees me fall into bed. Terry knows I love to travel and store up memories to recall, later. He may have planned this weekend to be a birthday trip to East Tennessee, but it was so much more. 

Soul-satiating space that could not be interrupted by the demands of schedule nor a cell signal. 

Soul-satiating pace with the perfect rhythm for Terry and I to walk hand-in-hand and to talk face-to-face about something or nothing in particular and to sing silly songs.

Soul-satiating place perfectly situated with water and bluffs and wildlife and a canoe for two to explore the good things of our living and loving Heavenly Father. Did I mention I'm a 7w8 on the Enneagram?

Soul-satiating grace. That's what grace feels like to me. 

It runs deeply to care for the things we keep buried, because they hurt too deeply. It soothes

and fills the dry, cracked, calloused areas exposed and desensitized by overuse. Soul-satiating grace is that soft

place to fall back and unclench our spirits to trust Truth. It is the provision of spiritual nutrients we are lacking, because we have gone too long unaware of being depleted and weakened.

Why and how do I allow myself to become empty? When does it happen? It's not penciled into my planner with a set date.

After I was full-up, again, I believe I caught a clue.

An intimate, soul-satiating relationship with God is not accidental. It is intentional.

Even though I plan daily devotions and attend Sunday worship service, my mind can fire a dozen different directions without fully being in those moments with Him. If I am not intentionally listening and not purposefully positioning myself to have my soul satisfied to the fullest measure, I will be back at that place -again- wondering why and how and when did empty happen?

Singer-Song Writer and worship leader, Jason Upton, raises his voice in lyrical prayer in Wild and Free with this one line that makes my soul agree - "Lord, fill my heart till it's full on hunger."

That deserves a two-hands-raised-in-praise!

I'm thankful for spotting the EMBRACED book by Lysa TerKeurst at a ladies' conference. I'm thankful for her devotions sparking my spirit for these 32 days, because the devotions have pointed to what is good and necessary and soul-satiating -- a deeper, intentional relationship with the One who loves me.

Birthday Wisdom

06.28.19.  I almost typed 06.28.64. Today is my birthday! "Double nickles" is what a friend said when I told her I'm 55. You better believe this senior citizen asked for the 10% discount on the first purchase that offered it. 

Yesterday, in the EMBRACED book, Lysa TerKeurst asked the question, "What holds the key to your heart?" and I paused.

For the past two days, Ephesians 3:14-21 MSG has been my altar call. 

"God, I ask you strengthen me with Your glorious inner strength, Lord. Plant my feet firmly so that I can stand with others to fully experience the extravagance of Your faithful love to know its full height, depth and width and length. I ask for a full life that is full of You and fully Yours. I ask to see miracles and be part of miracles by Your Spirit working in me and through me." 

(cue the tune "Yes and Amen" by Jesus Culture)

Have you ever prayed the Word using each verse as your personal message to God and from Him to your soul? 

Every morning, my soul feels like that vibrant flower in need of a drink of cool, fresh water. Head and shoulders bowed just slightly from doing life in daily elements that spend her supply of energy until she thirsts for more of His Voice-Written-Down. Then, with face turning upward, she fills up with the goodness that strengthens her to fully and gloriously be who God created.

If you are looking for sage wisdom from an old, experienced one, this is it: I would encourage you to ask yourself Lysa's question and ask God to help you discover the answer as you pray His Word. He promises to hear our cry. 

In Wisdom's Time-Out

06.26.19.  Wisdom.

When I pray for His wisdom, it is imperative I know my own motivation. Is it to hoard wisdom? That's goofy. Is it for selfish pride? That's not godly. Wisdom of the Lord. Wisdom for the moment. Not to be the smartest person in the room, but to know His direction. To consult the Lord and know His thoughts and, then, act or speak or be still and quiet. Why do I pray for wisdom?
I need wisdom when I speak with people.I need wisdom when I make decisions. I need wisdom for ministry and work responsibilities. I need wisdom in the emotional moments when it would be easier for me to knee-jerk react. I need wisdom to know myself.

"...make your ear attentive to wisdom and incline your heart to understanding. If you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding and if you search for it like silver and hidden treasures, THEN, you will have a reverent respect and trust in the Lord, because He gives wisdom and speaks knowledge for us to hear and treasure." (Proverbs 2:1-6 SAMtrans)

This weekend had been one day longer with friends, ministry and travel. Engaging and fun.

But, by yesterday, I woke up feeling tired and stiff. Eager to write and catch-up on posting my thoughts from the EMBRACED book, I started. There was plenty of time, but my head felt disconnected as if it didn't want to crank. After several attempts and coffee and prayer, I pushed my journal and computer aside. No sense of getting frustrated. Move on.

Am I the only one who needs wisdom to know when to push through or when to push aside without guilt or self-condemnation?

Not conscious of the wisdom of the moment, I made something to eat and rested my body and brain with a National Geographic Channel recording about the National Parks Service. In case you place to much attention on my viewing selection, know that's not what I'm driving at.

Sometimes, the wisest thing we can do is rest our body and mind. Why fight it when fatigue clearly is the victor? I would like to think that a residue of wisdom was clinging to the frontal lobe of my brain like a kind of spiritual lichen clinging to the northern side of a tree and, causing me to wisely retreat to the couch for a couple of hours. 

After learning about the birth of the parks service and a couple more episodes of the diverse beauty in our National Parks, I found my feet and brain and moved with more clarity. Wisdom had set me down and propped me up in a much needed time-out.

Notes from Lysa TerKeurst and my missing EMBRACED posts:

How am I spending my soul?
It's good to use wisdom and knowledge and an understanding of your resource capacity to access your decisions. (This "resource capacity" dealio, by the way, is brilliant!)
Not every opportunity was meant to be my assignment. (Yes! Sam, pay attention!)

Her thoughts on wisdom were setting me up for me to make a wise choice.

Learning about myself has been this month's reading focus using The Road Back to You: An

Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery. If you have not read the book, I encourage you to put it on your list and study it, soon. If you have explored the book, then you are cued to just how wonderfully we've been created! For those interested, I'm either a 7 Wing 8 or an 8 Wing 7. Yep, my motor runs hot... until it doesn't and I need to engage that part of wisdom that instructs me to rest.


We have opportunities every single day to let wisdom guide us, if we ask, listen and obey.

Dinghy Tossing

06.20.19.  Two surgeries in three days. This is my momma. Originally, we had spaced out the surgeries over a couple of weeks to allow for healing and the courage to walk into another surgery center. 

Life happens. When it does, it sends out ripple effects in all directions tossing everyone in their dinghies. Some go overboard and some lower their center of gravity, hold on and roll with it. I would like to think my family has become quite adept at managing dinghy tossing waves. This week has been an ocean full of rolling waves and we are still in the boat!

We do extra things for our family members that we may not ask others to do, because we are family. And, because we are family we make room, make time, make allowances with or without gracious intentions.

For the days of both surgeries, Momma and I strategically coordinate our departure based on weather, location and traffic patterns, because one of the surgeries is on the other side of Nashville during drive-time. Then, there is the follow-up appointment on the day between both surgeries. And, my hubby makes the decision to travel to be with dear friends for the final service of a loved one. These friends are like family to us and one of us was going to be there to show our love. This means I am on-point for the transportation and care-giving for these three days.

The first surgical procedure is a snap with almost immediate results. We feel good with the direction the current pulls our dinghy. The second procedure is painful. There's no immediate reward. There's only a projected slow recovery with medications and stitches and gauze. In a way, our dinghy feels stalled and tossed at the same time, because other decisions have to be made. There's that ripple effect mentioned earlier. But, it's family and we love our family.

Before I read today's devotional in the EMBRACED book, I asked God for a quick nugget in my noggin that would partner with Lysa TerKeurst's thoughts. I penciled the following whisper of gold into my journal: Caring well for others reflects the love of God in our own hearts. 
In the Day 20 devo, Lysa recalls the focused attention of one young reporter (with a very public family) who interviewed the TerKeurst Family observing, "She stayed present in that role alone." Instantly, my brain picked up where God's golden nugget dropped. 

Schedules rearranged while maintaining other plans. Additional trips into town and back. Meals changed. All are waters to navigate, this week, to stay present in my role as a family member caring for a member of my household.

...

In 1 Timothy 5:8, Apostle Paul gets really focused in the letter as he admonishes young Preacher Tim regarding taking care of family members, "If a widow has family members to take care of her, let them learn that religion begins at their own doorstep and that they should pay back with gratitude some of what they have received. This pleases God immensely." 

With a zing he adds a stinger, "Anyone who neglects to care for family members in need repudiates the faith. That's worse than refusing to believe in the first place."

Point taken. To that end, I believe it's time to administer Momma's afternoon meds ...with extra care.

Are you still in your dinghy? Let me know.