100 Days of Summer 81-90/100

08.29.19.  Self-control. Are you kidding me [more of statement than a question].

Since last weekend, most of the devos Lysa TerKeurst has covered in the EMBRACED book circle around allowing the Word at work in me to control me, because it's changing me from the deep core of the soul outward to my reactions to strangers, family, friends and that other group of beings who have no category with the exception of they get on my one last nerve. My solace is that category is small.

sigh.

My blood started simmering, today, while in a waiting room. A gloriously deserted waiting room. I plug in my cell in the only outlet available and hidden in the room. I retrieve my water bottle and a novel from my roped KAVU®, where all sorts of personal luxuries exist for an extended stay in the waiting room, and settle in for an enjoyable, quiet reading session.

Then, just as the young bride on St. Simon's Island, Georgia, is to plight her troth to the handsome groom from Scotland, he swaggers by and cusses to another lady who just came around the corner and works in this building. Then, he slouches into a chair across the once-empty room and continues to filth & foul about things that only the miserable filth & foul loudly about. 

My head is down and my hat's brim shields my rolling eyes as I continue to refocus on the bridal party's dinner and the many toasts offered up by the loving father of the bride.

He mutters something about fixing or painting something very slowly and making it an all-day project because this is his Friday. With that he starts walking down the hall. My joy is fleeting as he pauses and stands smack dab in front of her whispering in a throaty sound as he makes, what appeared to me, a covert grab at what did not belong to him. Did I really see a sexual harassment just take place? Didn't he just talk about himself having a wife?

Squirming from hip to hip, crossing and uncrossing my legs, I pray, "God, he makes me sick. Make him go away before I stand up." They both move across the hall where I cannot see their activity, but still hear that low, muffled voice. Then, another employee walks down the hall causing the two to separate. I'm just looking around for a supervisorly-ish person to report that bad man's bad behavior. Not a single camera is mounted. Not a single person with authority shows up. Again, they separate, but meander down the hall in the same direction.

I decide that the first chance I get, when she's alone, to let her know she is not being respected and can do better and neither one of them should be conducting themself in this manner in this place...MY QUIET, DESERTED, PUBLIC, WAITING AND READING PLACE!

I never got the opportunity. How I wanted that opportunity with every indignant fiber of my simmering self. I really wanted to verbally kick some tail, today. Honestly, I wasn't sure how he would react to my reaction and I really didn't want him to filth & foul at me, which is most likely what would have happened as I tried to put him in his place. Would I have felt triumphant in my righteous piety?

Ok. So. Back to the Lysa's devotions. Like a sharpened arrow zinged into my brain, instantly I'm reminded of Hebrews 4:12, "For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it slices cleanly through dividing soul and spirit, bone and marrow; its surgical precision separates my thoughts and attitudes and motivations." Scriptures point me back to self-control allowing the living and active Word to be at work in me to control all of me. 

Don't think that I believe God intended for us to be doormats and cowards shrinking away from injustice. I believe He wants us to use wisdom and lean into His voice for guidance.

My blood still simmers thinking about today. But, I know that God's voice whether sensed, heard or written down is working in me and for me. 

Stuck in the Muck

07.12.19.  Goodness! What a great EMBRACED devo by Lysa TerKeurst! You've gotta get this book! (click the word Embraced for the link)

Lysa asks the reader who feels she is in the middle of a mess to answer the following question: Am I letting this mess define me or refine me? Then, she explains the reader's answer is crucial to feeling hopeless or hopeful. 

We all know we cannot stay in the mess whether the mess has us feeling stuck or stranded. Lysa uses scripture to develop three "Go-To Scripts" which become new patterns of thought to speak Truth of the Word into her mess. You'll just have to get the book and look up Day 42 for these Turning North Go-To Scripts.

Reading through today's devotion, my own messes came forward. Some are messier than others. It seems like there are always lessons to be learned in a muck of a mess.  I cannot imagine ever intentionally wanting to remain in a mess especially when we have the power within us to get out of the mess. However, when the mess leaves us feeling stranded --as if God forgot about us-- we can feel that hopelessness weighing heavier and pushing us deeper into the sludge.

I have been there. 

Honestly, I let the mess define me. The word abandoned seeped into my heart adding to the ugliness of being in the mess. From there, anger would climb over a great disappointment choking off my breath. I was sure I would become the first person in history that God forgot and refused to hear her prayers. It wasn't about the mess, anymore. It was about my brokenness.

It is important that Truth resides in your heart. For even when broken or stunned, Truth will surface.

When the enemy of my soul would insert a lie, Truth surfaced.

"God has forgot about you." Then, a bubble would break the surface, "Don't fear. I won't leave you nor forsake you."  


"God won't answer." <blip, blip, blip> "Don't be stressed. Don't be discouraged. I will help you with My right hand."

"You're too weak." <pppp-shsssssshhhhhhh> "You are more than a conqueror through God."

"This is impossible." <fizzy, fizzy, pop> "With God, nothing is impossible."

The scripture Truth I had memorized (maybe not remembering where they were located book, chapter and verse) was rising from the deep and so was my faith!

Then, I broke free to inhale sweet air and let it fill my lungs... "I am a child of God. I am chosen by the King. What touches my life is, first, felt by Him. He knows where I am. I cannot run or hide or be hidden where He cannot find me. I can come boldly to the throne in His presence making my requests known to Him. He hears my every cry. He goes before me and hems me in from behind. I put my hope and trust in Him because He loves me!"

Are you stuck in the muck or stranded in the mess of your own life situations? It's time to let Truth surface.

Oh Well Days

07.11.19.  The past two days have been Oh Well days. Today is sizing up as another.

Oh well.

It's not for a lack of faith nor for a lack of motivation that I don't resolve to seize the day with my usual zeal. My faith is still in tack. My "want to" is simmering just below the dark circles under my watery eyes. I've succumbed to my humanity...I have a cough, laryngitis and overall feeling of weakness. 

Another day chalked up to "Oh well, I gave it a shot. I'll feel better, tomorrow."

So, I cancel fitness classes, let the laundry stay in the dryer, pray, read, rest, and watch historical stories on Netflix until sleep claims me, once again. 

Remember those books called Chicken Soup for the Soul? Each story warmed your heart and lifted your spirit like the chicken noodle soup my hubby brought home from Chick-fil-A, last night. That's how I feel about the last couple of EMBRACED devos where Lysa TerKeurst serves biblical principles with personal experiences.

Because my noggin feels off-kilter and the pillow is calling through a fog slowly rolling in, I feel the need to quickly pass along some truth sparked from these daily devotions.

Celebrate small daily victories. Like battles won in a war, each victory is claiming ground for the territory of our souls. When we practice 2 Peter 1:5-9, we are strengthening our faith. How so? We add to or supplement our faith with things that we can work on, like choosing to do the right thing because it's the right thing (morals). Exercising self-control over whatever tends to trip us, builds our spiritual faith muscle. We are overcomers and our lives are a living testimony of God's mercy, grace and strength. People notice and are drawn to an overcoming life! 

Change the way you think. In Romans 12:1-2, we are encouraged to renew our process of living by renewing our minds. Actively engaging God's best as truth, by default we are automatically replacing negative thought patterns and defeating lies. It's like filling up on something so nourishingly fresh so that there is no room for the old, stale stuff. Keep returning to the table and your very taste changes for that fresh flavor. Our minds are transformed to recognize and respond to His truth. What is that truth? The last line of Romans 8:38-39 encapsulates it: nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Do you see how one fuels the other? We feed our minds on God's best stuff and, then, live it out victoriously and, then, celebrate with a grateful heart bringing us back to the feast, again! 

So, while today may be another Oh, Well day for my body, I'm filling up and getting stronger in my soul!

Raise Your Gaze

07.07.19.  When Terry and I extended our running mileage from three miles to five miles, there was a specific course we would use to keep the workout interesting. It's nothing special and it's not the course we are eager to get to. The noise of the traffic beside us is too loud for music and the exhaust fumes can be sucked in when we are sucking at the air for oxygen.

The real reason we use this out-and-back sidewalk course is for the hills, hills and more hills. Oh and hill repeats. Were you aware there are rolling hills in Tennessee?

Running on a flat track is perfectly fine for an easier run or for when the weather is not cooperating for longer mileage. Simply put, a flat course adds mileage, but doesn't build endurance. Running hills tests the runner's training, requires the runner to make adjustments as she climbs and challenges the runner to lift her gaze to the unchanging focal point as she moves forward to the top.

As a newbie runner back in the spring of 2013, I had no desire to complete a full marathon. That's 26.2 miles of torture! My body did not know 26.2 miles, because it had trained only for the three miles. My mind could not comprehend what longer distances would feel like, because I had trained for the short distances only. Initially, to run farther meant spending more time while feeling weak and winded. There was no motivation inside of me to pursue anything other than what I was doing. That was until after the first race I experienced where the crowd encourages every runner to the finish. As soon as my foot crossed over that magic line, something inside of me awakened to challenge. I knew my training would take on an intentionality for something more difficult.

Running in the White Tank Mountains

Training strengthens the body. The discipline of longer distances more frequently, the addition of core and weight-bearing exercises, and changes to my nutrition were part of the new training. I found a coach who knew how to care and call out. I studied form of known distance runners. I researched equipment and the elevation of my next race.

But my hip joints hurt. My kneecap felt like it was warbling with a sensation near pain. After a quick evaluation, the physical therapist, a runner, immediately recognized what this newbie runner did not. I thought it was a joke and quickly scanned the room for a hidden camera when he gave me the diagnosis.

"Runner's Butt. You have Runner's Butt." To any girl, this sounds like a win! But, no. It's a symptom of weakness. In fact, the warbling kneecap was further confirmation that my hips were weak. He prescribed simple exercises to be repeated at daily intervals. In a few weeks, the exercises proved successful. 

Adjustments must be made during the ascent. Running on a flat course is one foot in front of the other. Pick 'em up. Put 'em down. Keep breathing. There is more to it, but if a person can move in an upright position, she can do a flat course. It is when the incline under her feet begins to rise, the same muscles are called on to engage differently.

Not only had the PT discovered my weak hips, he explained the need to engage muscles differently for the difficulty. It seems my short body is built for endurance. Since those thighs I have detested since puberty are quite strong, it was only natural that I engaged them while running uphill. However, the proper muscle group to engage for climbing hills is the set I sit upon. The glutes! They stabilize and power the movement up with shorter steps. By strengthening and engaging, the adjustments are learned to carry the runner up and over the hill. 

Raise your gaze. There is another technique the runner must employ for running hills:

head up - eyes up. The running coach I continue to ask for wisdom taught me this lesson. The top of a hill does not change. Since we run to where our eyes are focused, it makes sense to keep our eyes fixed on the top of the hill instead of on the road and on our feet during the arduous climb. By lifting our head, even slightly, our capacity for oxygen-rich air increases by lengthening the torso to take in more air, because our lungs are not in a squished position.

You're ahead of me and have paced the running lessons to our spiritual lives. I knew you would! Let's review.

In this life trials will rise up making our journey difficult, but not impossible. As we dig into the Word of Truth (the Bible) and look to spending time in relationship with God -the God of the impossible, He will help strengthen our spirit and teach us how to engage the truths found in the Word. The truth like this one found in Psalm 121:

"I will lift my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help (and strength and breath) comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and earth. He, who does not sleep, will not let your foot fall (or fail)."

I encourage you to read this tiny chapter with its eight power-packed verses for yourself, this evening. Are you ready to get up earlier or abandon stupid tv shows opting for time spent with God?

Raise your gaze, my friend. It is time to be intentional with your training.

Brokenness Mended Again

07.05.19.  Have you ever wanted to shake your fist to the heavens? Have hard times and insensitive behavior of others left you feeling kicked in the gut, broken-hearted and weak as water? Perhaps, you -like me-  have lifted a defiant chin, gritted your teeth and made a declaration as a modern version of Scarlett O'Hara. 

"As God as my witness, they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry, again."

I have been, there. Not so much the actual food dealio, but I have been there spiritually and emotionally. 

It's funny-not-funny that when I have been at the point where it felt like my spirit was broken and there was no strength to be summoned, up from some abyss deep within this 5'3" frame, a resolve slowly starts to steam its way upward, builds pressure at the back of my throat until it finds my tongue and I snap out a charge at God. 

"Are You listening? Do You see me? Why aren't You doing anything? Am I not Your child?"

If you read this with your finest idea of sarcasm and bitterness and frustration, you have come pretty close to how hard I symbolically shook my fist. I know He is big enough to take it. Honestly, I imagine He sighs at my outburst, "Finally, you're at a point of trusting My words instead of trusting your 'tools' to attempt to bury or heal your pain."

There is this one verse in Psalms 34 offered to bring comfort after someone dies and the loss is more than a loved one can bear. But, what if this same verse were applied when a person is face down with their soul shattered into thin, glass splinters and they are disillusioned with God? 

If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;

If you're kicked in the gut, He'll help you catch your breath.

Psalm 34:18 MSG

He knows me. He knows the motivation behind the frustration. He knows I know He's right there. Clearly I don't doubt His existence, because I'm hurling questions. I'm certainly not punishing Him with my silence. If perspective is reality, I think it's from a wounding of perceived abandonment that I and others angrily knit our brow and snarl our offenses as threats. 

What do we do after that? What do you do after that?

This post could go deep while the word count climbs to trace back the wounding to the heart of the matter and analyze from all angles and quote famous and knowledgeable people. But, I don't want to go there. 

I want to offer honest observation of my own brokenness-mended. 

I keep coming back and turning over all my stuff to the living and loving Heavenly Father who has known me from before recorded time and chooses to continue to love while walking me through every alleged disappointment I have with Him. After exhausting my challenge and shaking in my anger, God speaks and I absorb His love surrounding me. He gently sweeps up all the splintered pieces mending my brokenness with His Word and with His peace. 

Peace in chaos. This doesn't make sense.

I'm not suggesting I experience a cloud of cotton candy buffering my boo-boos as I float away in a totally relaxed state of mind while all my troubles disappear. On the contrary.

I've taken the freedom to note my interpretation of 1 Peter 5:7... "Give all your stuff to God, because He is most careful with you." 

All my stuff I just blasted Him with is an ammunitions offload while the chaos is still swirling around. By faith, I'm giving all my stuff to Him to deal with knowing when He speaks, my anxiety is hefted by shoulders bigger than mine. When He speaks, wisdom for direction is dropped into my noggin. When He speaks, hope is ignited with promise. It is after He speaks when I have clarity to focus on the truth of His Words and move with intentionality. 

What about you? Isn't it time to give all your stuff to Him? Are you done being angry with His way of doing things? He's got your best interest at heart and is ready when you are to talk it over. Are you ready to have your brokenness mended ...again?

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I'm not quite sure what was in the Day 35 devo in the EMBRACED book by Lysa TerKeurst which sparked my thoughts. Order the book for your own 100 Devotions to Know God is Holding You Close. 

Birthday Wisdom

06.28.19.  I almost typed 06.28.64. Today is my birthday! "Double nickles" is what a friend said when I told her I'm 55. You better believe this senior citizen asked for the 10% discount on the first purchase that offered it. 

Yesterday, in the EMBRACED book, Lysa TerKeurst asked the question, "What holds the key to your heart?" and I paused.

For the past two days, Ephesians 3:14-21 MSG has been my altar call. 

"God, I ask you strengthen me with Your glorious inner strength, Lord. Plant my feet firmly so that I can stand with others to fully experience the extravagance of Your faithful love to know its full height, depth and width and length. I ask for a full life that is full of You and fully Yours. I ask to see miracles and be part of miracles by Your Spirit working in me and through me." 

(cue the tune "Yes and Amen" by Jesus Culture)

Have you ever prayed the Word using each verse as your personal message to God and from Him to your soul? 

Every morning, my soul feels like that vibrant flower in need of a drink of cool, fresh water. Head and shoulders bowed just slightly from doing life in daily elements that spend her supply of energy until she thirsts for more of His Voice-Written-Down. Then, with face turning upward, she fills up with the goodness that strengthens her to fully and gloriously be who God created.

If you are looking for sage wisdom from an old, experienced one, this is it: I would encourage you to ask yourself Lysa's question and ask God to help you discover the answer as you pray His Word. He promises to hear our cry. 

Time Well Spent

06.17.19. HA! Turns out my Day 15 of #100DaysOfSummer blog post segued like a well cued song on the radio for Day 16 Devo in Lysa TerKeurst's EMBRACED! So, I skipped posting and waited for today.

If you've just jumped into my blog series, know that I am spending 100 days reading her 100 devotions found in the EMBRACED book and asking God to deposit into my spirit and spark something that flies tandem with that day's devo. I'm not rewording her daily devo, but allowing God to bring another fresh word into my focus.

And, as an added bonus, in prayer and praise before reading the EMBRACED devo, I place myself in a position of hearing God speak. Although I don't ever recall in my life hearing His audible voice, sometimes, words and phrases land in my mind. Sometimes, a knowing happens. I have spent my time just 5 minutes quietly thanking Him for stuff while at other times, I have walked and worshiped for a lot longer. Any time spent in God's presence is time well spent. 

This morning, within the non-profit/ministry, MVP Leader Group, my hubby and I launched, we decided to declare Psalm 34. I chose to use The Message version to pray each verse aloud while the tune "Surrounded (Fight My Battles)" written by Michael W. Smith was on repeat on my Spotify account.

When I started declaring the verses, I was seated. By verse 7 I was up on my feet doing battle for the lives of my family, friends, and preachers and preacher's wives! If you haven't read Psalm 34:7, lately, let me just let ya in on a promise: God sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray! 

Woah -- the picture in my brain is that all of heaven snapped to attention and God commissioned one of those big guys (or two) to guard me while I was wielding the sword and the shield! "Boys, our little princess-warrior is running to the front lines. Let's provide air support."

Here's the dealio, when we spend time in a position of openness reading His Words written down (the Bible) and in prayer, He is faithful to guide our focus -then and later- for making decisions. 

Lysa lays out some straight up truth and wisdom for "Chasing Down Our Decisions" using Proverbs 27:12 as a springboard for her Day 17 devo. She offers, "Our decisions aren't just isolated choices. Our decisions point our lives in the direction we're about to head." Good decisions head us to a good place. Likewise, poor decisions lead to a destination that tends to cost us more in the long run. Read Lysa's Day 17 devo of chasing down a decision before it's made.

I choose to spend time listening to the Lord for good decisions and good directions which have a positive effect/affect (I always get those confused.) on my life for the future. It's doing life with God for His name to be great instead of mine.

BTW: You can get EMBRACED: 100 Devotions to Know God is Holding You Close on Kindle, Audiobook, Hardcover or MP3 CD on Amazon! 

What's In My Hand?

06.13.19.  Every now and then, a girl must shake herself from the routine and ask, "What am I doing and why?"

In this morning's Day 13 EMBRACED devo, Lysa TerKeurst brings to the stage Mr. Shamgar, the maybe-farmer who "struck down" six hundred oppressors with a cattle prod. Say what? I must have zoned out while reading through that part of Judges, because either I glazed over it or read the account as just another win for God's team. How could another miracle ever become too familiar? Further proof I need a shake-me-up miracle of my own.

Check it for yourself in the Old Testament book of Judges Chapter 3. 

After reading through the devo, my insides were all jittery. Not like from too much caffeine on an empty stomach. More like anticipation at finally getting to unwrap the gift from that one person who totally gets you, because you know it will be the best gift ever! I wanted to dive right into ripping the paper off this best-ever gift with words and action.

But first, in Obedient Heart and Feet I challenged you to be still -without requests or grievances- for 5 minutes each day until Sunday listening for God's voice. I did it. I opened my journal to a blank page (just in case) and set the timer (because I'm lame). I knew there would be difficulty in actively listening if I were to be wordless (That reads like the most oxymoronic sentence). Multi-tasking is a strong suit. As I offered up words of praise and thankfulness, my spiritual ears were at-the-ready to catch His words of love and instruction sent down to my open spirit.

Did I hear the audible Voice? Nope. 
Did my hand begin to mysteriously scribble notes? Nope. 

Instead, an emotion of stillness seemed to settle around me... peace was accompanied by the sweetest knowing that I am loved by the Heavenly Father. 

Back to the shaking of myself, if being all that I am is living to make His name known, then I am living with impact. Every situation, every gathering, every encounter becomes His best gift to me by choosing me for the thing at-hand! My willingness qualifies me! Little ol' me in a little ol' town in Tennessee need only to look at what is in my little ol' hand to accomplish this extraordinary thing for today and the days to come. 

In my hand, today, there's a computer keyboard clicking out a blog about the living and loving God. There's a kitchen to prepare nourishment for which my family will thank the Lord for providing. There's an evening fitness class that will end with prayer for my friends -- whether or not they have a relationship with their adoring Creator who wonderfully made our bodies to move and be strong.

Tomorrow, there will be more opportunities to make His name known with impact. 

As Lysa asked in today's devo from Embraced: 100 Devotions to Know God is Holding You Close, I'll pose a question to you: Even if you feel small and unlikely, what's in your hand to accomplish extraordinary things in His name?

Show Me the Weird Thing

06.11.19. You may have noticed a lapse of posting due to a special social event of the summer, my mom-in-law's wedding!

If your vision of the small town pastoral couple is the quiet life of a village parson living in the modest rectory where steeple bells toll the call to worship across the dell and cherry blossoms gently blow on the breeze, you may have read too many Jane Austen books.

Don't get me wrong, I believe the ministry life is one of the best out there, because of the connections and the community and the opportunities of building a life with the common goal of sharing in relationship with God. Alas, there are toilets to be cleaned, bake sales to organize, choirs to direct, Sunday school classes to be taught, pianos to be played, volunteers to lassoed and chickens to be fried! All this while keeping your own home together and being able to drop it all should someone go into the hospital or your hubby-pastor invites the board of deacons over for coffee and homemade peach cobbler immediately following the Sunday night service or your own children start puking -- which, by the way, intermittent, projectile vomit always seems to happen on Sunday morning!

My in-laws lived in the parsonage steps away from the church where they ministered just outside of Tulsa. He loved to immerse himself in the community and she worked beside him. After Paps died, her life changed dramatically. His death meant they were released from the present commission and she needed a new home.

The family helped pack and relocate all of her adult life into a moving van bound for Oklahoma City, where she would start her new life as a widow. This she did for almost 10 years until an 81 year old widower asked her to go out for dinner. On Saturday, June 8th, they started a together-life. 

Over the weekend, I didn't ditch my 100 Days of Summer Devos, we were too busy with the #momsgettingmarried weekend to blog about them. I would encourage you to purchase a copy of Lysa TerKeurst's EMBRACED to catch what I couldn't write about. I did highlight key thoughts:

Meeting with God before we set out working for Him is a place where we are fueled by His presence and power. "This is the daily sacred exchange where ministry duty turns into pure delight." I want to be busy doing the Lord's work WITH the Lord not as a lone ranger.

Lysa repeats a prayer before she meets with God in this "daily sacred exchange." Her simple prayer reminded me of the one I pray not nearly as book-worthy, nonetheless, effective. My pre-devo prayer: God, show me the weird thing I've never seen, before, in Your Word. And, show me how to apply it, today.

Spending time with Him consistently places us in a position of hearing what deep, divine treasures He wants to reveal in our everyday, mundane things, but we've got to look for it. As we develop the spiritual muscle of looking for Him, "we become changed people who live out the reality of God" and don't need to feel overlooked by everyone else, because we are "handpicked by God" to experience His checklist.

There is a pattern. Do you see it? Intimacy. It's not like our human version which holds back a portion of ourselves until we feel enough time has gone by that the other person has proven they are trust-worthy. God jumps in on Day 1 with an invitation to seek spending time with Him with every ounce of our being. With great delight, He wants to show us the hidden treasures and the weird things while on the greatest adventure that has its starting point, here and now, and continues on into eternity. 

Trust the Lord from the bottom of your heart;
Don't try to figure everything out on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do and everywhere you go;
He'll keep you on track!

Proverbs 3:5-6 msg 

You can have that intimacy. If you're unsure as to how that happens, message me!

Interruption Thou Art a Love Letter

06.04.19.  You've been there. Yesterday, I was.

Plans were laid out. My eye was on the To Do List. Time and creativity appeared to be on my side. 

Then, life happened. 

Like the game of Jenga, unexpected interruptions pushed and pulled the foundation blocks of my carefully planned day toppling most of the structure.

Sparing you the details, the internet stopped working. <insert frustrated glare>

What's funny-not-funny is the correlation to the Day 3 devo in EMBRACED I had read earlier in the morning when the checklist was fresh and I was smiling. 

Throughout the collapse, my mind darted back to the devo and Lysa TerKeurst's great expectation of how her verse for the day would refresh itself repeatedly during the day, because it was a gift lovingly meant for her on that day. 

I know solace is to be found in the Words of God. I wasn't in the mood to find it. Still, I thought of Him. Right there, in the middle of my aggravation, His words were still alive and active in my spirit pulling me back to Him. That's a love letter!

God used my Day 1 love letter, Hebrews 4:12, to interrupt the interruptions and continue the process in my spirit for softening and sharpening. 

What I had wanted to post, yesterday, was something totally different and of my own creating, but what He wanted to create in me is so much better.