I'm Not Fearless

The Fearless campaigns have never really set well with me. I appreciate the angle. I applaud the spirit behind them. It's just not me.

Only twice do I remember fear freezing me where I could hardly breathe. Once, as a child waking up from a nightmare thinking a tiger was walking around my bed, I froze and held my breath so long I almost passed out. When our son entered high school, a tumor was discovered in his wrist. That was the second time fear would daily and randomly grip my lungs. The physician said until confirmation could be determined via tests, the tumor reminded him of osteosarcoma - the bad boy of bone cancers. 

A healthy fear is a built-in, God-given design to keep you safe. Spiders and lightning make me sweat. Therefore, I kill spiders unless they are the size of a chihuahua. Too many encounters with lightning keep me inside and away from windows and running water during a storm.

When the presence of fear prickles the back of my neck, I do stupid things like jumping between people attempting to control the atmosphere. And, grabbing the shirt of someone walking away with the stroller my toddler son is sitting in, which turned out to be a joke. They just don't know how close they were to being clobbered. Unintentionally, I put myself into sink-or-swim situations and hope for the best without a backup plan. God's angels must certainly work overtime protecting this special case known as "Sam." 

See, it's not that I'm fearless, I'm just full of courage. Perhaps, it's more of the blind courage of "if no one else will, I will." The benefits of not living with debilitating fear is an exciting life of items being checked off the bucket list. Albeit spontaneous impulses, I have chased the first snowfall of the season into the Smoky Mountains by myself, signed up for a half marathon with my hubby and gone scuba diving with my son. I want others to experience the exhilaration of a moment of courage, too!

Living out a courageous, find-a-need-and-meet-it life may have roots in one fear I wrestle with: Being obsolete. Now, in my early 50's, it would be too easy to sit back and let someone else fill the gap. I cannot. Or, when overlooked for a position due to my age, resign myself to a sad, sedentary, lack-of-ministry lifestyle. I will not. As long as there is breath in my lungs, I will continue to summon courage to try something new or develop a dormant passion and invite someone to go with me or accept the invitation! A life of courage just seems sweeter when shared.

Here's your challenge: Find something and be full of COURAGE!