People are Weary

People are talking about the weariness of it all. Fear is giving way to complacency. The glassy-eyed "quarantine
fatigue" is settling heavy over shoulders causing many to wonder if the giant will ever just go away.

With each day, the enemy steps out to boast his size and his exploits and his intentions. Fear. Destruction. Loss of Finances. Death. The target of his insults drop their weapons and shrink back, together, or never even bother to come out of their tent.

The kid shows up. He had been told to stay home, but longs to be with his big brothers giving the enemy the "what for" and, then, howling at the moon, together, like the old days.

Being the baby, he'd been included in brotherly wrestling matches and come up with a bloody nose, but always dove back into their mix. Playful tussles built strong muscles and strong bonds. They fought, together.

Arriving at the place of the battle, he sees something he's never seen before... the defeat in his brothers' eyes. To hear it in their voices is like hearing a foreign language. "Why are you here? You're too little and lazy. Shut up and go home! GIT!" As the the youngest and the smallest, he's accustomed to being the butt of their jokes as they poke fun and punch his arm, but this sounds different. Even the air around them feels off. Shame tinges their barbs.

Slack-jawed and rejected, he snaps, "Can't I even talk?" and turns to the other countrymen who snarl and shove his courage to the back of the line.

Anger and frustration subside just enough to remember his anointing. There is no boldness like that of one who remembers his or her anointing. It strengthens their heart and causes them to stand up. Then, the battle seems more like an annoyance and the giant is of little threat.

Yesterday, he was a shepherd who calmed his sheep with his voice on verdant hills. Today, he (or she) is a warrior. Before launching into battle, the bold one senses the need to calm the fear and intimidation in those around. "Don't lose heart on account of this enemy." 

Holy boldness rises up as this warrior warms up his shoulder. He sees the victory before the first stone is released. The warrior's eyes narrow on the enemy. The stone is placed in the sling. Raising his voice for all to hear, he declares, "This is the day it ends. The battle is the Lord's. Without sword or shield, He will deliver it into our hands, together."

Take heart, my friend. The Lord is on your side and wants to see you live in victory. How can I join you in prayer?

Are the Pistols Loaded?

06.19.19.  In a few posts from the past, I have blogged about fear. Although fear manifests itself in different ways, they can all be traced back to that stubborn root. 

Although the paralyzing type of fear does not typically seize me, my spirit will lock down in an unhealthy pattern, sometimes, when an old insecurity tries to sneak its way into my thoughts. I am learning to flip on the porchlight to expose fear for what it is, an invader. 

If you tend to wrestle with fear (worry, anxiety, etc.), perhaps the following reference from Worry: The Big Scary Shadow may serve you:

1. Relax. Breathe.
2. Refrain from giving-in to this crippling shadow-monster.
3. Recognize you're in a negative thought mode and retrace your steps back to the source by asking, "Where did this start?"
4. Remind yourself of 2 Corinthians 10:5, "Casting down imaginations and every thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and taking captive (arresting, disabling) every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

In the EMBRACED Day 19 Devo, Lysa TerKeurst wrestles with this nemesis by reminding herself of other God-breathed words of strength found in Isaiah 43:1, Romans 8:38-39, 1 Peter 5:7 and, one of my faves, 2 Timothy 1:7.

God gave us a spirit

not of fear but

of power and love and self-control. 

(2 Timothy 1:7 ESV)

Looking up other versions or translations of this scripture for those three gifts (power, love

and self-control), yielded words like bold, strong, loving, sensible, wise, and sound-judgment any of which could be inserted synonymously.

My response to fear or insecurity is action. Not the good action. Without thinking I attempt to control the situation or trust in my own strength. Sidenote, "without thinking" should be a warning to pause and regroup. Oh no, not me. I run forward with pistols that should be blazing, but in my haste, I didn't load the bullets. That's very bold, but not wise and definitely not recommended. 

Trusting myself is just that. Bold, not wise. I'm not intentionally being disobedient, but my startled reaction to fear or insecurity causes me to go rogue. My prayer is to be wise in the gifts He gave, boldness with love and wisdom. Wisdom reminds me to trust God with my weakness, instead of wrestling with Him. 

Are we alike in this? Aren't we all a work in progress?

I'm Not Fearless

The Fearless campaigns have never really set well with me. I appreciate the angle. I applaud the spirit behind them. It's just not me.

Only twice do I remember fear freezing me where I could hardly breathe. Once, as a child waking up from a nightmare thinking a tiger was walking around my bed, I froze and held my breath so long I almost passed out. When our son entered high school, a tumor was discovered in his wrist. That was the second time fear would daily and randomly grip my lungs. The physician said until confirmation could be determined via tests, the tumor reminded him of osteosarcoma - the bad boy of bone cancers. 

A healthy fear is a built-in, God-given design to keep you safe. Spiders and lightning make me sweat. Therefore, I kill spiders unless they are the size of a chihuahua. Too many encounters with lightning keep me inside and away from windows and running water during a storm.

When the presence of fear prickles the back of my neck, I do stupid things like jumping between people attempting to control the atmosphere. And, grabbing the shirt of someone walking away with the stroller my toddler son is sitting in, which turned out to be a joke. They just don't know how close they were to being clobbered. Unintentionally, I put myself into sink-or-swim situations and hope for the best without a backup plan. God's angels must certainly work overtime protecting this special case known as "Sam." 

See, it's not that I'm fearless, I'm just full of courage. Perhaps, it's more of the blind courage of "if no one else will, I will." The benefits of not living with debilitating fear is an exciting life of items being checked off the bucket list. Albeit spontaneous impulses, I have chased the first snowfall of the season into the Smoky Mountains by myself, signed up for a half marathon with my hubby and gone scuba diving with my son. I want others to experience the exhilaration of a moment of courage, too!

Living out a courageous, find-a-need-and-meet-it life may have roots in one fear I wrestle with: Being obsolete. Now, in my early 50's, it would be too easy to sit back and let someone else fill the gap. I cannot. Or, when overlooked for a position due to my age, resign myself to a sad, sedentary, lack-of-ministry lifestyle. I will not. As long as there is breath in my lungs, I will continue to summon courage to try something new or develop a dormant passion and invite someone to go with me or accept the invitation! A life of courage just seems sweeter when shared.

Here's your challenge: Find something and be full of COURAGE!

The Voice of God

Psalm 29. The voice of God. Powerfully exact with one word. Merely the sound of it strikes with lightening! 

I am frightened and more than humbled to realize there is surely an incredible degree to which His voice is tempered when speaking to tiny me.

God speaks. I am rebuked, but not annihilated.

Insignificance and favor and holy fear braid themselves around my soul leaving me without voice.

God speaks. I am extracted, yet remain whole.

With hidden pride, selfish motive and miserly method instantly clarified, I am rendered undone.

God speaks. I am pure.

Blessed with peace and strength, I am, now, full with His voice.

Can you relate?

Riding with the Enemy

Needing a new and healthy looking Boston Fern for a showy, green, centerpiece in a large room, I stopped by a local roadside plant and veggie stand where they have the biggest and prettiest of everything, every year! They didn't let me down even at the end of the season. 

My helper directed me to an area out to the side where the leftover summer greenery was cramped in a tangled jumble. Together, we selected a beauty for which he cut me a steal of a deal and loaded into the backseat of my (fake) SUV. Off I went!

After the event, the fern was loaded back into the seat. With the weather mild, there was no threat of the plant dying as the car sat for a couple of days with the windows cracked, until I could unload. 

Who knows if either the fern or the storage box was the transport? It was just a short time afterwards when I noticed the web around the latch of the fold-down seat in the cargo area. I swept it down. It returned. I used a high-power vaccum to hopefully extract the little arachnid. Again, the web returned. Something in the back of my mind kept saying, " This web is different." Nevermind. It's one of those little ones. I've got road trips to make and more stuff to haul. Ugh. Spray the hole. Air the car. Go on.

Isn't that just like life? The evidence of a nuisance is there. I may temporarily rid myself of what's on the surface, but the fact remains there is trouble inside. It'll only get bigger if not dealt with. 

Past emotional wounds left to fester.

Offenses swallowed down, repeatedly.

Broken relationships. Unresolved conflict.

Bitterness. Hate. Jealousy. Insecurity. 

Eating Disorders. Fear. Anger. Depression.

Just to name a few.

We lifted the hatch. There she was clinging to life in that strong, sticky web, but still dangerous. Her colors revealed she was a fully grown, mature Black Widow still capable of inflicting pain and suffering. Now's the time to deal with the issue! How could I not?

It is unnerving to know she had been there all along. How did she manage to survive all that time? She could have hurt me. She could have hurt friends and family. All because I refused to take the time to explore what truly was the problem.

Are patterns in your own life repeated? Do you chide yourself for letting it happen, again?
Now's the time to deal with the issue! How could you not?

Valley of the Shadow of Death

In September of 2005, my son was diagnosed with a tumor in his left wrist. Imagine tremors quaking through me randomly each day throughout that month. Julie Wharton, my friend of many years, was beside me in a flash when she witnessed anxiety reach a point where I could not catch my breath. I do not exaggerate when I say fear would sneak up on my blindside, sink it's fangs into my jugular and chew.

Early in the process my husband, son and I used the Word of God (Bible) more like a table knife jabbing at something while blindfolded. But, then, it happened, that we got "our holy mad on" as faith was nurtured and our target came into focus. No longer wimpy saints, we wielded the Sword with spiritual strength, prayed the scriptures and aimed our hope, trust and faith into the heart of the matter!

To relieve stress, early morning jogs on the treadmill became a necessity. While in the middle of one such jog, Psalm 23:4 shot through my brain: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me. Your rod and staff comfort me.

At the end of that eternal month, no longer did my son's wrist ache and it was determined the tumor was not cancerous! 

I learned quite a few lessons during the actual testing period: When you don't have enough faith for yourself, friends and family strengthen you with their faith; With what you've nourished your spirit will come to the top; and, God desires to communicate with you.

Today, I was mulling over faith when, again, Psalm 23:4 shot through my brain while jogging. It occurred to me many people go through the valley of the shadow of death via different routes. Death of a dream. Death of the body. Death of a relationship. Death of a job. You get the picture. 

You may be there, now.

Convinced the Good Shepherd keeps His word and accompanies us through the valley, I am certain His staff is used to rescue us from the ledge. However, what would His rod -a different shepherding tool- be used for? I believe it is significant or it would not have been mentioned.

Here's what I think...

When my steps slow because of apathy, disobedience, anger or self-pity, He prods me forward with a strong prompting to the backside. When I'm distracted from the goal, the rod's nudge to my nose redirects my attention. When I'm frozen from fear, despair or depression, I hear the sound of His rod tapping against the hard surface reassuring He's there walking near me. And, when I don't see danger stalking me, His skillful handling of the rod clubs-in the head of the predator.

Let your faith rise. Encourage yourself in the Word. Keep moving! Some valleys simply are not meant to be inhabited, but journeyed through.