Are the Pistols Loaded?

06.19.19.  In a few posts from the past, I have blogged about fear. Although fear manifests itself in different ways, they can all be traced back to that stubborn root. 

Although the paralyzing type of fear does not typically seize me, my spirit will lock down in an unhealthy pattern, sometimes, when an old insecurity tries to sneak its way into my thoughts. I am learning to flip on the porchlight to expose fear for what it is, an invader. 

If you tend to wrestle with fear (worry, anxiety, etc.), perhaps the following reference from Worry: The Big Scary Shadow may serve you:

1. Relax. Breathe.
2. Refrain from giving-in to this crippling shadow-monster.
3. Recognize you're in a negative thought mode and retrace your steps back to the source by asking, "Where did this start?"
4. Remind yourself of 2 Corinthians 10:5, "Casting down imaginations and every thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and taking captive (arresting, disabling) every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

In the EMBRACED Day 19 Devo, Lysa TerKeurst wrestles with this nemesis by reminding herself of other God-breathed words of strength found in Isaiah 43:1, Romans 8:38-39, 1 Peter 5:7 and, one of my faves, 2 Timothy 1:7.

God gave us a spirit

not of fear but

of power and love and self-control. 

(2 Timothy 1:7 ESV)

Looking up other versions or translations of this scripture for those three gifts (power, love

and self-control), yielded words like bold, strong, loving, sensible, wise, and sound-judgment any of which could be inserted synonymously.

My response to fear or insecurity is action. Not the good action. Without thinking I attempt to control the situation or trust in my own strength. Sidenote, "without thinking" should be a warning to pause and regroup. Oh no, not me. I run forward with pistols that should be blazing, but in my haste, I didn't load the bullets. That's very bold, but not wise and definitely not recommended. 

Trusting myself is just that. Bold, not wise. I'm not intentionally being disobedient, but my startled reaction to fear or insecurity causes me to go rogue. My prayer is to be wise in the gifts He gave, boldness with love and wisdom. Wisdom reminds me to trust God with my weakness, instead of wrestling with Him. 

Are we alike in this? Aren't we all a work in progress?

Girlfriends-in-Ministry: Priorities

“If you don’t want us to be in the ministry anymore, just say the word. Right now, you make the decision. What’s it gonna be?”

These were the words of my husband who was frustrated and simply wanted peace. The stress revealed there was a crack in my foundation. That was it, my foundation. Terry and I had been married for less than a year and were part-time youth pastors doing full-time ministry, as well as, working outside jobs. Prior to that night, I had no thought toward the “building blocks” of my life. In that instance it became very clear I needed to dig deep and rebuild. I needed to establish priorities.

Whether or not you agree with the order, is up to you. I've found the following work for me:

1. God
2. Family
3. Ministry (or Career)
4. Myself

Imagine each of the above priorities in the tangible form of a solid block of magnificent rock hand hewn out of the side of a mountain. Starting with Myself being the smallest of the blocks and increasing size with each priority, begin stacking. You'd soon discover you created a wobbly wall with the weight of the ministry and family and outside influences teetering on your strength. See where I'm going?

Early to modern-day architects agree you gotta go deep with a strong foundation to build a sound structure. Reverse the order of our stones with the God-stone, the largest, now, bearing the weight, thus fortifying the entire structure. It can take-on any force, because God, Himself, is absorbing the shock. You may feel the tremors, but trust His strength.

"My gift of undeserved grace is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak" (2 Corinthians 12:9, CEV)...courtesy of YouVersion.

How are you holding up? Have you ever given thought to your own priorities? Ask God, our living and loving Father, to help you evaluate your own "structure." 

~"Sam"
P.S. It's 2-on-Tuesday, so at 2pm, look for blog post #2, which will be a recipe!