REFIT LoveRules Challenge Day 6

Today's #LoveRules has two parts to it, but you can handle it! 

LOVE CHALLENGE #5: ASK A QUESTION. THEN LISTEN.

It's one thing to ask someone how someone is doing, but it's a whole other ballgame to ask an intentional question about someone's life. In getting to know people, it's easy to keep asking "How are you?" and get the weekly surface update, but never get any deeper. What a game changer it could be if we asked people REAL questions, like:

**What's something you're excited about? 

**How did you feel when ______ happened? 

**What do you need most from other people this week? 

When we ask real questions, we'll build real #community. 

The second and KEY aspect is to listen, and #listen WELL. Listening is NOT -thinking through what you're going to say next -zooming in on something on their face -mentally writing your to-do list -trying to come up with advice to give them before they're even done talking.

That last one is sneaky because it definitely feels like listening. Listening is giving your full, selfless attention to try to understand what someone else is saying. Listening is remembering. 

Think about what your specific community could look like if everyone involved asked REAL questions and became REAL listeners. 

What kind of questions are you asking? How are you responding to others? 

SHARE on social media adding @refitrev + #LoveRules. You could get a great big ole Love Bomb valued at $100 dropped on ya!

Wanna know more about REFIT? Just ASK!

Adding Value

While social media tends to pander our self-regard with everything from mundane to once-in-a-lifetime events, let's consider shifting the focus toward others. I am just as indulgent as the next vegetarian in sharing what was on my all-day menu for #MeatlessMonday.

Hey, Jack, what's wrong with posting innumerable pix of cute puppies and baby elephants? Nothing, I say! Absolutely nothing!

I'm issuing a challenge -of sorts- to all you bloggers, Facebookers, Instagramers, Tweeters, Viners, Tumblr-ites and YouTubertarians to add value to your followers. Make it for a day. Make it for a week. Make it your next big milestone post!

What does that look like?

Welpst...it looks like encouraging with words and photos, "likes," asking questions, offering helpful hints and posting about something that benefits the locals or those with similar interests. Avoid cutting remarks or even responding to negativity with negativity where all of social media can see. 

Remember, emotion and voice inflection do not carry through posts, unless you use "!!!" and ALL CAPS!!!! Typically a person will read a response using their own filter. If I have a cynical disposition, chances are I will read a post viewed through my pessimistic filter. 

People struggle on a daily basis with everyday stuff. Let's, You & I, not subtract from our online friends' esteem. Instead, let's be the bright spot elevating them and adding value to their lives. You don't have to be a know-it-all, simply defer to another.

Whether we have 20 or 200,000 followers, we can add value with our platforms.

Here's to #sharingselfies! Join me?

Say What You Need to Say

Life is too busy to let words of life go unspoken.

I love you. I value you. 

I forgive you. 

Please, forgive me.

Of all of the useless words we let fly out of our face on a daily basis, shouldn't we be purposeful with words? 

• Intentionally building a relationship. 
• Strengthening love with family. 
• Freeing someone's spirit from fears and insecurities. 
• Defusing tension...real or imagined.

Giving someone a "piece of my mind" may seemingly endow them with more than they had. But, will my words tear them down just so I feel better about myself? Life is too unforgiving.

Is it worth it?

Words need to be spoken -or written- to call out that spark of greatness in a younger person's life which they cannot see.

Was there a teacher, school guidance counselor or youth pastor who saw your potential and suggested a profession?

How about an employer or department director who complimented your hard work causing your untapped creativity to surface?

Or, what about that sweet note you received from someone when you were going through a rough spot or grieving the loss of a loved one?

Words of life offer hope. 

Without hope, people give up in despair. 

Words of life give healing to wounded spirits.

Join me in swallowing down pride or insecurities. 

Say what needs to be said.

**Proverbs 15:23

Smiling at 50: The Language

(My PR / PB as of 03.15.14)

When one embarks on a journey into foreign territory, she must learn (at least some of) the language. 

The running world has a vocabulary unto itself even with regional dialects. But, if one should find herself a little lost and humbly admits she needs direction, there's most always a friendly native to provide guidance. 

I've learned "PR" means Personal Record; however, I was informed by an online running friend, in Europe the term is "PB" for Personal Best. "Tempo Run" has many translations depending on who you ask. Treadmill is occasionally abbreviated to "TM," but almost always referred to as the "dreadmill." Shoes don't drop, they may or may not have a "drop." And, while I'm training for a 10K (6.2 USA miles) in 25 days, I have aspirations for an "HM" in the fall. 

(Discovery)

The more I venture out on my own or with my hubby to discover new routes, the more I hope for new and future destinations to snap a quick pic and mentally add to my list of adventures to check-off before they have had a chance to be added! Doesn't really make sense unless you're there.

Hanging out with the citizens of this new land, I am learning what the locals wear and eat and have slowly --I mean sloooowwwly-- moved beyond the Tourist status to something akin to having dual residency. Yay, me! I still stick out due in part to my constant questions, but I'm finding common ground and offer tips to new arrivals!

So, if you're considering a visit to this province, be sure to have another pair of shoes to alternate; matchy-matchy is a dead give-away you're new; gum keeps your mouth moist, make eye contact with all drivers before you cross the road; and give a low, almost undetectable, spread-fingers wave to runners coming toward you. It's kind of like a secret, colloquial code for "You belong."

**By the way, it is my request for a Sonic Route 44 Unsweet Iced Tea with Extra Cranberry to reward all future PRs and at the Purity Moosic City Dairy Dash 10K Finish Line on April 12, 2014!

HIGH-LOW

During one rough season of my childhood, my mom was married to a man who did not like table conversation during meals. This was difficult for me for two reasons: (1) Prior to him our family gatherings had always involved laughter and talk of daily life and (2) I was a "chatty-patty."  While living in Scotland, my step-father worked a 30-days-on/off schedule in the North Sea as First Mate on a tugboat taking men and supplies back and forth from the oil rigs. It was while he was away, Momma, my little brother and I would have fun meal-time exchanges, once again. After we returned stateside and the marriage dissolved, laughter and conversation were welcomed back to the family dinner table! 

It is my opinion food does not digest well, when you are nervous, sad or feel intimidated. Your appetite is better when life is happy and relaxed. It is for this very reason, our family started "High-Low" at dinner time when Dane was in elementary school. 

High-Low is when each member of the family shares a high experience and a low experience for that day. The rules are simple: Everyone participates, poop-talk is not banned (unless someone has a weak stomach) and family members are not to interrupt -- except for laughter. It's a way for family members to engage.

During our summers as Tennessee Youth/Student Directors at Camp Jackson, our staff, known as the Crunk Crew, would participate in High-Low after "Devo" (devotion) usually after the campers had gone to bed and the facility prepared for the next day. Twelve staffers would pile into our bedroom located in the lower level directly under the wooden dining hall floor. Sometimes, they found it easy to come up with a low, but many times they would substitute it with two highs! If I would forget to do High-Low, they would remind me or wait until after the Thursday evening S'mores Bonfire when the campers were in the cabins. It was always a favorite and intimate time for each of us. 

Create memories. Start a tradition. All ages can participate. It can happen around a table, at bedtime devo, in a car, or anywhere the "family" gathers to get conversation going! 

~"Sam"